Into Darkness
by Sunshineaftertherain
Summary: Re-imagining of Into Darkness with a load of Spock X Kirk moments thrown in. Rating now 'M'... Complete
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: ****So, I've decided to bite the bullet and join in on the fun of creating fan fiction. I know there are plenty of silent fic-stalkers that would love to see more of that adorable Spock-Kirk action. Constructive criticism in reviews welcome but please don't flame. **

**For this fic, Spock and Uhura were never dating. This is basically a re-imagining of Into Darkness (because, why not?) with a bunch of soppy [Spock x Jim] moments thrown in. The rating may change later on. It will be an eventual pairing. **

**Warnings - Light swearing, fluffy moments**

**Hope you enjoy :) **

—

Chapter 1 - The Nibiru incident

It had been six months since they defeated Nero. The Enterprise and all her crew had become close during that time. They completed each mission perfectly. Well, as perfect as you could get with such a daring and rule bending captain. They were currently on planet Nibiru. It was beautiful, everything covered with a bright red flora. Their mission statement was to simply observe the primitive, pre-warp species. But, finding out the whole race was about to be wiped out by volcanic activity, Jim decided they should take action. He had a beautiful soul like that. He couldn't just let them become extinct. He and Bones were to distract the Nibirans' whilst Spock would plant a cold-fusion device at the centre of the volcano, set it to detonate, then get the hell out of there. It was simple; in theory.

McCoy and Jim sprinted across the planets surface, swamped in clothing to stay hidden. The Nibirans' were hot on their tail. "Jim why in God's name did you take their sacred scroll?" The doctor panted. Jim grinned and tried to trip his friend. "Take him instead." He shouted, then laughed. Did he ever take any situation seriously? Bones slapped him on the back of the head and ran faster. They ditched the scroll in a tree once they had cleared the 'red zone', then threw themselves from the cliffs edge.

Once back on the Enterprise, Jim jogged onto the bridge with McCoy in tow, both still trying to catch their breath. "You crazy son of a bitch Jim." Bones rasped, weakly slapping his friend's shoulder and earning a sloppy grin. Jim glanced around, immediately noticing that both Sulu and Uhura had returned, but Spock was nowhere in sight. He felt a knot form in his stomach and frowned. He was about to speak but was halted by Scotty. The man was ranting and raving about it being, 'incredibly hard hiding a starship at the bottom of the ocean'. "Scotty! Where's Spock?" Jim interupted. Scotty's gaze lowered to his feet. "He's still in the volcano sir." He mumbled, glancing back up and seeing panic set in his Captain's eyes. "The line snapped and they could nae get him out. The shuttle began to stall, they had to return." Jim moved to Uhura. Before he could ask, she opened communications for him and nodded.

"Spock!" He called, the desperation thick in his voice.

The Vulcan coolly replied. "Captain, I have activated the device. When the countdown is complete, it should render the volcano inert."

"Yeah and that'll render him inert!" Bones snapped.

Jim growled. "Look, someone find a way to beam Spock back up and do it now!"

He watched as his crew bickered over what to do. They couldn't risk being seen and they couldn't risk getting caught in the volcano's explosion. It wasn't leaving them with much choice. Spock spoke again, "Captain, I must remind you that, under no circumstances, are we to be seen by the indigenous species. Whilst our shuttle was concealed by the ash cloud, the Enterprise will not be."

Jim sighed. "No one knows the rules better than you Spock, but there has got to be an exception."

"No. Such action violates the prime directive. You must leave... The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few Captain, it is only logical."

Jim's voice broke. "Spock. Please. Don't be like this."

"Captain.. I am sorry."

Jim couldn't reply, he was freaking out and couldn't draw any more attention to the fact. The crew started bickering again and he began to zone out, withdrawing into his reeling thoughts. _'How can I just let Spock die? Why did I even allow him to be the one to go down there? It's too dangerous. I should have known something would happen. I should have gone myself! Argh! And how can Spock just accept death so easily? Stupid Vulcan. Stupid, perfect, Vulcan.'_ When he stopped questioning everything, his thoughts shifted, wondering over their memories together. A specific one flooded his mind. The first time he truly felt something strong for Spock.

_They were in the midst of the Nero incident. Vulcan was being attacked. Jim and Sulu had shut off the drill and narrowly escaped death. They crashed down on the transporter pad, just as Spock was leaving. "Clear the pad, I am beaming to the surface." The Vulcan commanded. They jumped down.  
"The surface of what? Wait.. you're going down there? Are you nuts? Spock... you can't do that!" Jim choked out, still struggling for breath.  
He heard the word "Energise" and without thinking, dived on to the pad next to him._

_They materialised on Vulcan; the planet was shuddering and falling apart. Spock gave Jim a fleeting, curious look, then sprinted into the Katric Arc; a chamber very sacred to the Vulcans. They could beam neither in nor out of it, which was the reason for Spock's near-suicide mission in the first place._

_They found his parents and the rest of the high council taking refuge there. The room was shuddering and debris began to litter the ground. Spock persuaded them to leave and lightly held his mother's arm to guide her out. Jim thought it was beautiful how much he cared for her. 'So he does feel.' He thought. They left the crumbling building together, dodging falling debris from every angle. Jim saved two of the elder Vulcans' by pushing them from harms way._

_When they were outside, they spread out, each standing a metre apart. As they were waiting to beam up, rocks started breaking away. Spock's eyes were staring passed Jim's shoulder and widened with fear. He reached out in panic as his mother was about to fall. Jim's breath hitched. In a split second he whipped around and lunged forward to grab her from the air, throwing her back to the group. As he did, the ground crumbled beneath him too. Time seemed to stop as his panicked eyes locked with Spock's beautiful, fearful, brown ones. As he began to fall, Spock ran forward. He felt the Vulcan painfully grab the scruff of his shirt, catching his skin with his nails. Everything went black._

_When he opened his eyes, he was met with a blue material and the skin of Spock's neck. He was stood back on the Enterprise. He thought for sure that he had slipped out of range and wouldn't make it home. But there he was. Safe. His breathing was rigid and to his surprise, so was Spock's. Jim was being held flush against the Vulcan's chest. One arm was wrapped around his waist, tightly gripping his shirt and the other was fisted in his hair. After a short while, he felt the intense grip on his head loosen. Instead, fingers lightly brushed through his soft locks. He wasn't sure Spock actually realised he was doing it, but he wouldn't lie, It felt amazing. He shut his eyes and breathed a soft sigh on the Vulcan's neck, causing him to shiver._

_Eventually, their breathing normalised again. Spock hesitantly pulled back to look into his eyes. Jim was surprised by the raw, mixed emotion he could see in the Vulcan's brown depths. Shock and Curiosity seeming to be the main ones. Spock moved away to check his mother was alright. Jim instantly missed the touch, missed the feeling of being safe and warm. Spock turned to face him again. "Thank you." He said warmly, before straightening his uniform and moving to escort the high council out of the room. His mother left his side for a brief moment to approach Jim and place a kiss on his forehead, then left. _

_As much as he would deny it, he'd started to fall in love that day and oh boy was he going to fall hard._

He blinked back into awareness. His fingers moved to touch the faint scars on his collarbone from when Spock had saved him that day. He growled. He couldn't let his first officer die, not a fucking chance in hell. He couldn't be without the yin to his yang. He slammed his fists on the comms unit. "Spock, we are coming for you god damn it just hold on!" He was met with static. "Try to get him back!" He shouted, then gave everyone their orders. It was time to bring the Enterprise up and get their first officer back. He would deal with any repercussions later.

Spock stared at the raging magma and the fires dancing around him. It was both terrifying and beautiful. As he waited for the end, his captain entered his mind. Oh how he adored every logical and illogical second with Jim. He felt pained that he wouldn't get to see him again. Wouldn't get to see those beautiful blue eyes again. Eyes that reminded him of the most crystal clear Earth oceans. Eyes that always sparkled as he laughed. He was pained he wouldn't get to brush his fingers through his Captain's soft golden hair again.  
He scolded himself for acting so human. It was completely illogical. He closed his eyes and spread his arms out, waiting for the end, only to receive that familiar feeling pulling on his body.

He reopened his eyes, discovering that he had indeed returned to the Enterprise. Jim raced in to the room a second later, launching himself into Spock and knocking them to the floor. "Spock!.. Are you.. alright?" He panted.

His first officer removed his helmet. "Captain, you let them see our ship." He stated, looking most displeased.

Jim laughed, that usual glint shining in his eyes. "Yeah yeah. But really Spock, are you okay?"

"I was adequate until you flatted me Captain."

Jim grinned and helped Spock back to his feet. "Well, I'm just glad to have you back safe commander."

"Oh wonderful, the hobgoblin actually made it back before you died from a cardiac arrest. You just can't function for five damn minutes without the insufferable Vulcan." McCoy teased from the doorway.

"Bore off Bones" He glared. He turned to give his warmest smile to Spock before leaving the room. He had to attempt a believable Captain's log that would keep them out of trouble.

—

**Chapter 2 coming soon**

**Kept this one short but sweet **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi, thanks for reading, I hope you're all well :)**

***chapter re-uploaded because I noticed an error***

**Warnings: Death, swearing (and fluffiness at the end ;) ..)**

Chapter 2 - Attack on Starfleet HQ

Back in his apartment, Jim awoke to a message informing him of a meeting with Admiral Pike. He put on his dress uniform and met with Spock. He bounced around next to the Vulcan as they walked to HQ. He was buzzing about the meeting. "I'm telling you Spock this is it, I can feel it. We're being selected for the new program!" He beamed. The Vulcan shot him a doubtful look. "I consider it highly unlikely sir."

Jim's positivity didn't waver. "Why else would Pike want to see us? They gave us the newest ship... A FIVE YEAR MISSION SPOCK! Do you have any idea how incredible that would be? That's uncharted space."

Spock was concerned, though he didn't show it. His captain was over the moon at the prospect of securing the five year mission, but he knew nothing positive would come of the meeting. They had just violated a prime directive after all.

—

'_Oh no no no._' Spock thought, glancing at Jim, as Admiral Pike read out the captain's version of events. "Uneventful.." He began sternly. Things were going to escalate rapidly at this point. Jim had tried to cover their tracks, blaming 'faulty data' as the reason the volcano never erupted. "Or, maybe it didn't erupt because mister Spock detonated a cold fusion device inside it, while a civilisation, that has barely invented the wheel, happened to see a starship rising out of their ocean." The admiral shouted and turned to face Spock. "That is how you described it, is it not?"

If looks could kill, then Spock would've been six feet under. "You filed a report? Why didn't you tell me?" Jim spat. He was furious.

"I had incorrectly assumed that you would be truthful in your Captain's log." Spock replied.

Jim rolled his eyes. "Yeah I would have been, if I didn't have to save your life."

"A fact for which I am immeasurably greatful and the very reason I felt it necessary to take full responsibility."

Jim scoffed. "Ha, responsibility. That would be so noble if you weren't throwing me under the bus." The Vulcan frowned at the euphemism.

Seeing their argument begin to get heated, Pike intervened. "You were only meant to observe." He scolded.

Spock tried to justify their actions but Pike wasn't having any of it. He became sick of the Vulcan's sassy responses and dismissed him. Jim's anger turned to hurt; betrayal. Spock felt a tug of guilt. He hated seeing Jim look at him that way. He fully understood the damage that his unfiltered honesty had caused, but he couldn't change it. He shot Jim an apologetic look, hoping that showing some emotion would make his captain forgive him. All he received in reply was another hateful glare. He exited the room, leaving Jim to try and argue his case.

—

The second Jim was finished with his failure of an argument, he had stormed off to the nearest bar. He stared at the glass of whisky, his thoughts running wild. _'How could Spock do this? Break us all up? He just needed to tell a little white lie is all. Stupid pointy eared bastard! Stupid, gorgeous, pointy eared bastard. Argh why do I have to feel for him of all people? He's an idiot! I'm so done with him. I should have left him in the damn volcano.'_ He slammed his left fist on the table and downed the drink; asking for another. He drank a second, then a third. He was beginning to feel the warm effects of the liquid, though not too much.

Glancing to his right, he eyed up the girl next to him. Why not, she looked interested. He always did this. He'd get drunk and then sleep with random women just to keep himself busy and forget whatever bothered him. He couldn't even remember what happened come the next morning. Just as he was about to chat her up, Pike sat down between them. Jim rolled his eyes at the man and ordered another drink.

"You know, I've been made captain of the Enterprise again." Chris started.

"Oh congratulations. Good luck with that first officer of yours." Jim bit back, swirling his drink around.

"Actually, you'll be my first officer. Spock is being relocated to another vessel. You know, It was hard getting Marcus to agree, but I just told him the truth. That I believe in you and that if anyone deserves a second chance, it's you. I don't want to see you fail son."

Jim looked surprised by his Captain's kind words, then smiled and pushed the drink away. He was still angry, but it was mainly the overwhelming sadness that he wouldn't get to be around Spock or his crew anymore which made the situation most unbearable. He swallowed the feeling down when Pike received an emergency call and they made their way to Starfleet headquarters.

As soon as Jim stepped in the building, he watched his ex-first officer approach him. It seemed that glaring daggers at him wasn't enough to warn him away. They carried on walking as they spoke.

"Captain.." The Vulcan started.

Jim sighed. "Not anymore Spock, it's first officer now. I've been demoted and you've been reassigned."

Spock felt pained by the outcome, but didn't dare mention it. "Sir, it is fortunate that the consequences were not more severe."

Jim snapped. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Captain, it was never my intention to.."

"_Not_ Captain!" Jim growled.

"You will always be my captain, Jim." Spock retaliated.

Jim's heart skipped a beat at the admission, but he briskly squashed the feeling back down. "Would you stop with the cutesy shit Spock, come on." He complained.

Spock quirked an eyebrow "Cutesy.. sir?"

"Look, I get that you're trying to apologise. I do. I also get that you love to follow rules. But I'm not always like that. Where I'm from you don't stab someone in the back after they save your life."

"Jim, Vulcans' cannot lie."

Jim scoffed and stopped in his tracks. "Then I'm speaking to the half human part of you. Do you even know why I went back for you? Do you know why I couldn't let you die?" His eyes were pleading, almost begging the Vulcan to lower his damn shields for once.

They were interrupted by Captain Abbott who began introducing himself to Spock. The Vulcan hesitantly acknowledged his transfer. He couldn't think of anything worse than leaving the Enterprise. Abbott quickly left again after feeling the thick tension between the two.

Jim sighed for what felt like the thousandth time, then rested his hand on Spock's shoulder, absentmindedly running his thumb along the material.  
"Look, all I'm going to say is that.. I'm really gonna miss you." He murmured. For the first time, Spock was truly speechless and it really showed. He looked like a fish out of water. He didn't know how to appropriately respond. After a long pause Jim rolled his eyes, dragged his hand back and stomped off with a huff. Obviously, he was expecting a warmer response, or _any_ response for that matter. The Vulcan couldn't help the pang of guilt he felt over the entire situation. He would need to amend things when given the chance.

Marcus and various Captains' and first officers' were gathered around the large round table that had no centre. Jim took his seat by the window. Spock opposite. Admiral Marcus began explaining the situation. The terrorist attack on the data archive, 42 people killed, how an officer was forced to do it by a rogue colleague called 'John Harrison'. Images flicked across their PADD screens. Every now and then, Jim would glance up at Spock. The Vulcan was always staring back. It sent a pleasant rush through him, but he kept a lid on it, re-focussing on the meeting.

Marcus began wrapping up his speech and finalising plans, when Jim had a thought. He tried to ignore it, especially after Pike tried to quiet him, but the Admiral made him voice his concern. "Okay so why the archives? It's all public knowledge. I really think this is just the beginning." He mused. Marcus raised an eyebrow. "Beginning of what?"  
"Sir, protocol mandates that in the event of an attack, that senior command gathers all all captains' and first officers' right here at this HQ, right.. in this room." He trailed off towards the end and everyone started speaking amongst each other.

Jim stood up. His face went pale at the realisation of what was coming. Spock saw this and stood too. Their cautious eyes locked. Suddenly, a blinding red light flooded the room from the window. There wasn't a second to waste. "Clear the room." Jim screamed. He launched himself over the two tables and threw himself at Spock, knocking them both to the floor as shots and glass showered over them. He didn't stop to speak or even look at the Vulcan. He rolled off and sprinted out of the room, praying he wouldn't be shot so he could try and stop this _asshole_.

Spock stayed to aid any casualties. There were bullets and debris flying everywhere. He tried to pick up two people, but they were already gone. He turned to see Captain Pike was struggling along the floor. He moved to grab him, but it was too little too late. The captain was fatally shot. He avoided fire, grabbed Chris and pulled him out to another room. Pain and fear riddled the man's face. Spock knew there was nothing he could do. He hesitantly placed his fingers on Chris's face. He wanted to offer him some peace in his passing and to see what he felt; out of morbid curiosity.

He didn't like the experience at all. The fear, pain, regret and loneliness that immediately flooded his mind was overpowering. It began to calm and Pike was trying to tell him something. '_Take care of him._' He felt Chris murmur through the link. Beautiful images of Jim and his bright smile passed through his mind. He gave a nod. '_always_." he promised. The fear in the captain's eyes became peaceful, there was a silent thank you in them. He took his last shaky breath and he was gone. Spock simply sat there staring. He was still overwhelmed and felt an awful dread about Jim finding out. He was aware they were close.

Jim found somewhere he could get a clear view of the jumpship and sprung to action. The phaser he was using wasn't doing much to halt it. He had to settle for something else. After some thought and frantically searching, he grabbed a firehose and tied it to the phaser. Using all his strength he threw it in to the intake port. Perfect shot. It churned up the whole thing, ripping the entire unit from the wall. Jim dived to the floor as it slammed inches from his body, then flew out the window, taking out the small ship. As it began to twist and fall from the sky, Jim got a good hard look at Harrison. They locked eyes, Jim's burning with hate. Harrison smirked and he was gone. The bastard had managed to somehow beam away. The jumpship crashed into the side of the building. Jim rubbed his hands over his face then ran back. He was dreading something, but never expected the sight he was greeted with. Spock was kneeling over Chris Pike's dead body. His blood ran cold. He ran over and collapsed next to them. His old friend, mentor, someone he considered a father figure was.. gone.

Pain completely flooded him. He clutched at the captain's shirt and rested his head on him, spilling tears onto his unmoving chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

Spock broke at the sight. He reached out to hold Jim's shoulder in a half embrace. Jim turned and buried his face in to the Vulcan, letting his sobs fill the air. Spock stiffened up at the sudden contact. His shields were incredibly damaged, but he wanted to comfort Jim, so he sat there and accepted it. After a few minutes, Jim recomposed himself and stood up. He placed his hand on Spock's shoulder, giving a long squeeze in thanks, then staggered away.

He ran into McCoy who'd rushed there after receiving the emergency call. The doctor hugged him tightly, checked him over then ordered him on medical leave for a few days. Jim numbly agreed and sent the doctor away to help the injured.

—

Back in his apartment, Jim stared at the ceiling. His thoughts were still reeling from the events two days earlier. He still hadn't slept because of the nightmares that plagued him whenever he tried. He rolled over and glanced at the alarm clock. 18.58. '_Almost 7? Such a wasted day._'

A few days medical leave was pointless when you had nothing to do except laze around with your tortured thoughts. He had received so many messages from his friends but he ignored them all. He heard a light knocking at the door. He already felt it would be Spock. The Vulcan had most likely finished his meditating and wanted to check on him. He trotted over and answered tiredly. "Mister Spock, what can I do for you?"

Spock felt pained by what he saw. His Captain's usually gleaming eyes were dull and lifeless, he had dark circles under them. He didn't look well. "Captain. We have been quite concerned. Are you taking adequate care of yourself?" He questioned.

Jim sighed. "Firstly, _not Captain_, secondly, as adequate as can be under the circumstances. Care to come in?"

Spock entered; he had a game of chess propped under his arm. Jim smiled and slipped it from him, moving to the couch and setting it up on the table. "You know, this doesn't mean I've forgiven you, you pointy eared traitor." He scoffed. The Vulcan raised an eyebrow at the derogatory reference. "Well Jim, it is how you would say, your loss." Came the cold, sassy reply. Jim chuckled deeply. '_Stupid Vulcan._'

They played for a while; Jim seemed to keep getting lost in thought before half heartedly resuming again.

"Checkmate." Spock called out.

Jim's eyebrows furrowed. "You what?"

"Checkmate, sir."

Jim looked at him, then the board, totally bewildered. His thoughts calculating into realisation. "You devious son of a bitch!" He grinned.

"Jim. I would not deceive you. Your thoughts were simply elsewhere and please do not refer to my mother as a female dog."

Jim howled with laugher at the comment. The familiar spark returning to his eyes. The Vulcan felt pleased with the sight. "You know I don't mean that Spock." He grinned.

They were interrupted by a harsh knock on the door. "Jim you insufferable idiot, open up!" McCoy shouted. Jim chuckled and moved to answer.

"Man, you look like shit. Sorry I couldn't get over here sooner." Bones exclaimed, walking in. He eyed Spock up. "I see the hobgoblin already arrived."

"Good to see you too Bones, however, It's you who's insufferable." Jim teased.

"Seriously, when was the last time you slept? You look like crap." The doctor complained.

Jim sighed. "The night before shit went down at HQ."

"Two days? God damn it Jim, I'm giving you a sedative!" The doctor scolded, pulling out a hypospray.

Jim yelped and sprinted to hide behind Spock who was still sat on the couch. "Don't think your green blooded bodyguard will stop me." He laughed.

Spock interjected. "Doctor, there must be a natural alternative to this physical attack. I believe the Captain is already under a great deal of stress and this could be detrimental to his mental wellbeing."

McCoy rolled his eyes, but actually placed the hypo away. He thought for a while before speaking. "Okay lets stick on an old fashioned boring film and let him drift off that way."

Jim left his hiding spot and winked at his ex-first officer in thanks. It sent butterflies racing through the Vulcan. McCoy selected a film and sat on the opposite end of the couch to Spock; patting the space between them for Jim to join. The blond went to sit down. "No. Lay! You're going to sleep, doctors orders. I want you fit for your medical exam tomorrow." McCoy demanded. He pointed at Spock. "You take the end that bites." The Vulcan raised an eyebrow in question.

Jim rolled his eyes and lifted his feet onto his friends lap. "Are you at least gonna massage me honey?" He cooed to Bones, pinching the doctors cheek. "I will if you piss off to sleep!" He hissed, swatting his hand away. Jim breathed a laugh and leant back, placing his head in Spock's lap, looking up into the Vulcan's eyes. _Curiosity_. Of all the emotions he ever saw in Spock, curiosity was the most frequent. "Do you want me to move?" He asked the Vulcan. "If it will aid in replenishing your physical and mental energy, then I shall tolerate it." Came the cool reply. Jim chuckled again and let his eyes slide shut.

Spock turned to study McCoy. The doctor was now squeezing Jim's clothed feet whilst watching the film. Friends did incredibly strange things for each other.  
He looked down at his Captain's peaceful face. He was 99.86 percent sure that Jim had succumbed to sleep already. His breathing was soft and even. He must have been exhausted. Spock didn't want to give in and touch him, but his fingers were aching to dance in that hair again. He hesitantly reached out and let them brush slowly through the silky golden strands. Jim moaned softly and snuggled closer to him, causing a light green blush to form on the Vulcan's cheeks and ears.

McCoy watched them with warm eyes. "You love him, don't you?" He asked softly.

Spock continued to play with the soft locks without looking up at him. "What would make you assume that doctor?"

"I just see how you are with him. You take care of him, you guide him, you rarely leave his side."

"It is my job as his first officer."

"Come on. Look at you now ruffling his precious hair. You're not on shift and I bet that is so against Vulcan standards. Oh wait, you're not even his first officer anymore are you and he's no longer our captain. You are here completely off your own back."

"He is still my friend and I shall always see him as my captain. I would rather not work under anyone else. I refuse to comment any more on this illogical conversation doctor."

McCoy chuckled. "You know. I honestly don't know what he would do without you. He likes you too you know. I can see it as clear as day."

"Of course he likes me doctor, I am his friend."

"No he _likes_ you Spock." Bones insisted.

The Vulcan frowned. "If you are insinuating that the Captain has romantic feelings towards me then you are sadly mistaken. He has had many female interests and has never expressed this emotion to me. Only that of friendship."

The doctor rolled his eyes. "Spock, for someone that is half human, you sure have a lot to learn about them." He didn't gain a response. They continued to watch the movie in silence until McCoy received an urgent call and had to leave. "Sweet dreams buddy." He whispered in Jim's ear. He ruffled the Vulcan's hair and laughed at the displeased look he received. He hastily left.

Spock was gazing at Jim again. '_He is so.. beautiful._' He mused. He was thoroughly enjoying the feeling of the golden hair slipping through his sensitive fingers. He could feel the tingling warmth travelling into them from the simple touch. He imagined what it would feel like to properly touch his Captain's bright, beautiful mind in a meld. He thought back to his conversation with the doctor and breathed a sigh. As much as he tried to deny it, '_I am in love with you._' He thought. He would never admit it out loud.

He moved off the couch without disturbing Jim. He went to find a blanket for him and tucked him in. He sat on the floor by his side and studied the perfectly imperfect human once more. As he was about to get up and take leave, he heard a whimper. Then another. Spock felt a lump in his throat watching Jim suffer through his nightmare. The panicked gasps became too much so he gently tried to wake him. Jim's eyes snapped open, he sat up and violently lashed out but Spock caught his arm before it hit him. "Jim. It's only me." He murmured.

His ex-Captain looked away. "Spock. You're still here! I'm so sorry." The vulcan let go of his arm. Jim wrapped them around himself, withdrawing.

"It is nothing. Would you care to discuss it." Spock softly asked.

Jim sighed. "There's no point in even beating around the bush. When I was thirteen, I was one of the undesirables on Tarsus IV. I have nightmares now and then. They're significantly worse when im stressed."

Spock was taken aback by the sudden admission. "Captain. That is not stated in your file."

"Yeah well, I deleted it. It was horrific, I didn't need anyone knowing. But Chris, he was the one that arrived and saved us. He's the one that helped me get out of a bad place and enter Starfleet academy. He's the one that made me who I am today and now he's gone. I feel like I should have done something differently." Came the pained reply.

"Jim, there is nothing you can do to alter the past and at the time, there was nothing you could do to change his future I assure you. You saved lives by destroying jumpship 208. I'm also very sorry to hear about Tarsus. It was horrendous." Spock comforted.

Jim smiled. Spock was always there to make things better for him. He very hesitantly spoke. "Spock.. uh.. would you mind?" He laid down, his fingers reaching up to touch his hair. The Vulcan eyed him curiously then reached up to brush the locks once more. "Thank you.. You're a good friend." Jim whispered as he slipped back into a restful sleep. The Vulcan moved to tuck him in again and stroked a thumb down his cheek. His own eyes began to feel incredibly heavy studying the sleepy human.

—

**Chapter 3 coming soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi! Damn I've been busy writing. I've finished this fic and I've started on two others XD I'm just so picky with editing and I keep changing things! **

**I have written Qo'noS as Kronos in any speech, just in case anyone reading doesn't remember how it's pronounced.**

**~LightNote19, Caro, I'm glad you agree ;] and thank you!**

**Warnings: Violence, swearing, the usual.**

**Oh boy I had fun with this chapter. We need more promiscuous Jim and his perfect bedroom eyes XD**

**Enjoy :P**

**—**

Chapter 3 - Operation capture

Jim hazily opened his eyes. His heart melted. The Vulcan was still sat on the floor next to the couch, slumped over it, asleep. He sat up and watched Spock for a while before reaching out and slowly running his finger down the Vulcan's soft ear. He smiled. He'd always wanted to do that. He loved Spock's fascinating ears.

He was startled when his communicator rang and yanked his hand back. Spock began to stir. Jim got up and walked to the large window at the side of the room. It was Scotty and it was urgent; they had just opened the crash site for investigation and he needed them to head down asap.

Jim snapped the communicator shut and stared at the city. He could see the damaged headquarters not too far away and it made him feel numb. He sighed and glanced over to the couch. Spock was stood, stretching his sore limbs.

"Morning sunshine." Jim grinned. "Scotty has something he urgently needs to show us. Grab yourself a coffee then we'll make a move." He left to get ready.

Spock inwardly scolded himself for falling asleep and spending the night. He clearly needed to meditate again. "Yes Captain." he groggily replied. Jim poked his head around the corner, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and pointed at him. "_Not_ cap'n!" he scolded.

—

When they were in the elevator Jim turned to Spock, looking all sheepish "Thank you. For last night. I appreciate it." He murmured.

"It is quite fine Captain." The Vulcan replied.

"Oh god Spock. _Not_ captain! Shit." He groaned, rolling his eyes. Spock couldn't stop the tiny smirk that formed at the corner of his lips. He'd enjoyed toying with him. When the doors opened, they jogged straight to the crash site.

Scotty ran to them, a long machine clutched in his arms. "This is how the bastard got away sir! A portable transwarp beaming device." He raged.

Jim frowned. "Where has he gone, do you know?"

"Aye sir. But you're not gonna like it. He's gone to a place we just can't go."

The coordinates for Qo'noS, the capital planet of the Klingon empire, appeared on the small screen. Spock and Jim shared a worried look. "Shit." Jim spoke. "Right we're visiting Admiral Marcus, now."

Spock nodded and they jogged away again. "Captain, I hope you're not thinking about going there." The Vulcan fretted.

"I'm not your captain, Spock! But yes I am planning on going there and kicking his ass. You can do it with or without me." He panted. Spock frowned.

They ran into the building, headed to Marcus's floor and approached the receptionist asking to be seen. She tried to stop them as the Admiral was in a meeting but Jim huffed and ran through anyway.

"Admiral, he's on Kronos. I request my command be reinstated and your permission to go after him." Jim interrupted. Spock eyed him warily. The admiral signalled for the meeting to end and for them to follow to his office. "Is he defecting?" Marcus questioned.

"I highly doubt it sir. He has taken refuge on an uninhabited part of the planet." Spock informed.

"He's got to be hiding sir. He knows that if we go anywhere near Klingon space, then it'd be all out war. Starfleet can't get near him.. but I can. Please sir." Jim begged.

"War with the Klingons is inevitable Mister Kirk." The admiral started. He explained that London was not an archive at all. It was actually a top secret branch of Starfleet called section 31. They were developing defence type technology and studying anyone that could pose a threat to them. Harrison was one of their top agents.

"Yeah well now I wanna take him out." Jim fumed. Spock shot him a concerned look again.

"Pike always said you were one of our best and brightest. You should have heard him defend you. He's the one that talked you in to joining us, wasn't he."

Jim looked away, the reminder hurt. "Yes sir." He murmured.

Marcus paused then eyed Spock. "Mister Spock. You said it was uninhabited?"

"Affirmative sir." Spock confirmed.

He showed them a hologram of a torpedo they had designed at 31. It was long range and untraceable, it would be completely invisible to the Klingons' systems. "You park on the edge of the neutral zone, you lock on to Harrison's position, you fire, you kill him, then you haul ass!" He commanded coldly.

Jim smirked. "Permission to reinstate Mister Spock as my first officer. Just so you're aware, I won't be leaving without him." The Vulcan stared at him with silent admiration. "Granted." Marcus replied, waving them away.

Once the elevator doors closed, Jim put on his best smile and wrapped his arms around Spock's neck. "And _now_, you can call me captain." He purred. He knew Spock had been winding him up, so what better than to make him feel incredibly uncomfortable.

Spock kept his cool. "Do you always have to be so promiscuous Captain?" He chided.

Jim looked at him seductively. "Do you always have to be so sexy commander?" _'Oh fuck, this is going too far. I'm gonna end up actually jumping him if I don't stop.'_ he inwardly scolded. Even Spock's eyes were beginning to glaze over.

He watched the Vulcan swallow then visibly correct himself. "You are, as the doctor says, insufferable; Captain." Spock lightly joked and easily pulled out of Jim's grasp. The elevator doors opened.

"Well, it's one of the many things you love about me." Jim cooed before winking and going his separate way. He missed the green flush that appeared on his first officers face. Spock leaned against the wall and let out a deep breath. He'd almost lost his cool and Jim was only playing with him. _'That was much too close.'_ He sighed. He had to meditate.

—

Jim smiled at Spock as they met and entered the shipyard. He rolled his eyes at the sudden angry voice that followed them. "Jim where the hell were you? You missed your damn medical exam!" McCoy fumed as he approached.

"Bones, I'm fine." He groaned.

"Like hell you are. Spock, why didn't you drag him in or something? You have triple the strength you pointy eared idiot." The doctor snapped. Spock quirked an eyebrow.

Jim turned to face him. "Honestly Bones, I'm fine. Now let's go." He insisted. McCoy rolled his eyes and followed.

They boarded the shuttle, taking their seats. McCoy sat behind Jim and leaned over as he began running his tricorder across the captain's body. He also poked him in various places. "Would you get that thing off me Bones?" Jim complained. The doctor slapped the side of his head in reply and carried on scanning. "Sorry _mom_." Jim sassed, earning a chuckle from the doctor. Spock was sat next to him, leaving an empty chair between them.

"Captain. Thank you, for requesting my reinstatement." He said softly.

Jim looked to him and smiled. "You're welcome." He replied.  
_'Now, how long will it be until you kick off about mission parameters?'_

"As I am again your first officer, it is now my duty to strongly object to our mission parameters." The Vulcan mentioned.

_'And, here, we, go.' _Jim laughed. "Of course it is, commander."

"There is no Starfleet regulation that condemns a man to die without a trial. Something you're forgetting. Not to mention, what firing torpedos at the Klingons will cause." He fretted.

"Spock we're firing one torpedo, at one person, a mass murderer. You said so yourself that the area is uninhabited. Plus, this isn't a Starfleet order, remember?" Jim retorted.

McCoy stuck his head over the chair. "Wait a minute, we're firing _torpedos_ at the _Klingons_? Are you out of your goddamn minds?" He hissed, before dropping back and continuing to assess Jim. "I don't know why I follow these two morons." He complained to himself. Jim grinned.

"Regulations aside Captain, this is morally wrong." Spock expressed.

"Well, pulling your ass out of a volcano was morally right, but I didn't win any points for that." He sulked. He was still pissed about the Nibiru incident.

The tricorder readings started rising rapidly. "Calm down." McCoy snapped. Jim glared. "No! I'm not going to sit and take ethics lessons from a robot!"

"Reverting to name calling suggests that you are defensive and therefore find my opinion valid." Came the cool reply. Jim rolled his eyes, he was done with the argument. _'Stupid Vulcan.'_

Spock was about to speak further, when a beautiful blonde nipped in and took the seat between them. He frowned.

"And who might you be?" Jim asked.

"Science officer Wallace. I have been assigned to the Enterprise by Admiral Marcus." She informed.

Jim took her file and read through it, noting that she was a weapons specialist. "Impressive credentials, but redundant now that I am back on the Enterprise." Spock scowled. The Vulcan was fully fuming and he was showing it. It gave Jim a glint in his eye. He liked seeing Spock jealous. "Well, the more the merrier." He smirked. He almost burst into laughter at the look Spock gave her. It was as if he were trying to make her combust in to flames with the glare. He'd never seen that side of the Vulcan. He grinned the whole way to the Enterprise whilst Spock looked most displeased.

The second Jim boarded, there were problems. Things became most heated when Scotty refused to sign for the torpedos. He stated that he couldn't possibly sign for something when he had no idea what it was made of, what fuelled it, or anything about it for that matter. "I have to say, I agree with Mister Scott." Spock tried.

"Mister Spock, report to the bridge, now." Jim snapped. The Vulcan gave a curt nod and made his way. He had something he needed to look in to.

"Jim your vitals are way off!" Bones complained.

"Doctor McCoy, report to medbay, now." He snapped again. He could feel his stress levels rising rapidly, no wonder they were off. The doctor rolled his eyes and stomped off.

_'What is it with people today?'_ he huffed. He approached Scotty who'd walked to the warp core. "This sir, is a radioactive catastrophe waiting to happen. A sudden shift in magnetic activity by firing an unknown payload could kill every living thing on this ship. And I can't believe this madman even got hold of my equation. Sir, this is a military operation. Is that what we are now? Because I thought we were explorers!" Scotty whined.

Jim snapped. "Scotty, just sign for the damn torpedos or get the hell off my ship!"

Scotty looked taken aback. How could the captain be so hurtful, it wasn't like him at all. He got lost in thought for a while, then regretfully handed Jim his PADD; he'd made his decision to leave. He turned back to the captain. "Jim. For the love of god. Don't use those torpedos." He begged, then walked away with Keenser in tow.

"Ah.. Scotty.. Scotty!" Jim called desperately. But the engineer ignored him. He sighed. He would have to make things up to his friend later. He hated seeing that devastated look, but this mission was far too important.

He was joined in the turbolift by Uhura. She pulled him in to a quick, loose hug. "I'm so sorry about Admiral Pike." She consoled. "How are you?"

"Thanks. Actually, not great. Scotty just quit and Bones won't stop harassing me. I guess I can deal with those but Spock.. Spock is questioning my every move and if I'm honest, I'm still pissed about the Nibiru incident. Sorry for complaining to you, but sometimes I just want to rip the bangs from his emotionless head." He whined.

She laughed. "He adores you captain and I know you adore him. You'll do the right, crazy thing, like you always do and things will be fine with you both. You really should discuss things though." As she finished speaking, the doors whooshed open and Spock was stood there. Uhura grinned and walked to her station. "Ears burning?" Jim winked as they walked passed. Spock frowned at his back.

"Captain on ze bridge." Chekov called. Jim strolled over to let him know that he would be the new chief engineer; seeing as he'd been shadowing Scotty. "Aye captain." Chekov acknowledged weakly, then went to his new position. Jim sat in his chair, checking everything was running smoothly and passing it with Spock. Once it all checked out, "Take us out Mister Sulu." He commanded. The helmsman grinned and set to work.

Uhura opened a shipwide broadcast so Jim could give everyone the down-low. "As you all know, former captain of the starship Enterprise and our friend, Christopher Pike, was recently murdered. The man that killed him has fled our system and is hiding in the Klingon home-world Kronos. We are heading there now. It is essential that we go unnoticed, we cannot start an all out war." He paused to look at Spock. He stared into the beautiful brown Vulcan eyes. He sighed. He'd made up his mind. "I will personally lead a landing party to the surface of Kronos, where we will capture Harrison and bring him back to Earth to await trial... Alright, let's get this son of a bitch. Operation capture is a go, Kirk out." He ended the transmission, sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

Spock stood and approached him. "Captain, I believe you have made the right decision. If I could be of assistance, I would be be happy to accompany you on the away team." He informed. Jim smirked. "You, happy huh? Sure. Thank you Spock." He knew the Vulcan hated him being in the landing party without him and this was his subtle way of begging to go.

The Vulcan gave a curt nod and swiftly left the bridge. He made his way down to the weapons bay, where the torpedos were being kept. He'd done some research when he'd first arrived and had to discuss his findings. He approached 'Miss Wallace' as she was studying one of the devices. She almost jumped out of her skin when she noticed him stood there. "Why are you aboard this ship Miss _Marcus_? There is no record of you ever being assigned to the Enterprise. Also, Wallace is your mother's name. So I can only assume that Admiral Marcus is your father." He interrogated. She shot him a fearful look. "Please! He can't know I'm here." She begged. She tried to justify herself but was cut short when the whole ship shunted and shook. Almost knocking them straight off their feet.

Back on the bridge Jim was trying to find out what the hell was going on. Sulu stated that they had manually dropped out of warp and that they were still twenty minutes from Qo'noS. "Chekov, have you broken my ship?" Jim groaned.

"I'm sorry sir, ze core overheated, I had to activate ze emergency stop! It must be a coolant leak, I need time to find it." The boy ranted.

"Shit." Jim cursed to himself. Extra time in enemy space was not what they needed. He called Spock and Uhura, letting them know they would be in his landing party and where to meet him. He gave Sulu the conn and instructed him to threaten Harrison with the torpedos. "You're gonna do great." He grinned before leaving.

McCoy followed closely. "Jim this is not a good idea. You don't go to rob a bank when your getaway car has a flat tyre." He emphasised.

"We're gonna be fine Bones. Chekov will have things up and running in no time and Sulu is gonna do great. You'll see." He beamed. The doctor huffed and walked back to the bridge. Jim went to change, then made his way down to shuttle bay two.

"Sulu to shuttle bay two. Please have the trade ship we confiscated in the Mudd incident a month ago, re-fuelled and ready to go. Captain's on his way." Sulu's voice rang throughout the ship. Jim ordered his two security members to remove their red shirts, stating they couldn't be tied to Starfleet in any way or they would start an all out war. He smiled at Spock and Uhura, they were already appropriately dressed. He couldn't help but linger his eyes on Spock; the Vulcan looked _hot_. He couldn't help the little blush that formed when spock looked at him. He was definitely giving the Vulcan bedroom eyes.

—

They approached the planet. It was stormy, dusty and barren as far as the eye could see. It was full of caves; most of them a very substantial size. Spock located Harrison's position and Jim instructed Sulu to send his threat. He did damn good. Jim knew he would.

"We will arrive at Harrison's location in three minutes Captain. I calculate the odds of him attempting to kill us at 91.6 percent." Spock informed.

Jim sighed. "Fantastic." He murmured.

"Well, it's a good thing you don't care about dying." Came Uhura's catty response. Jim's jaw dropped. He was supposed to be the one mad about the Nibiru incident, not her.

"I would prefer not to discuss this now." The Vulcan stiffly answered.

"Well, I'm only saying what Jim's thinking, you know you two need to be more honest with each other." She explained.

"Oh thanks for that. Though, she is right ya know." Jim admitted.

She glanced over her shoulder. "In that volcano, you didn't give any thought for any of us. You didn't feel anything and you didn't care." She murmured. Jim's heart ached. She stated exactly what he felt.

"Nyota, Jim, your suggestions that I don't care are incorrect. It is true that I chose not to feel anything, but you both mistake my choice not to feel, as a reflection of my not caring. I assure you both, the truth is precisely the opposite." He explained sadly. "Vulcans' emotions are substantially greater than humans. It is because of this that we choose to control and avoid emotions in the first place. The consequences of too much raw emotion can be extreme. I do.. care."

Jim and Uhura were silent. They hadn't expected such a deep explanation. "Spock.." Jim started, when the ship harshly jolted. They'd been shot and were being pursued by a Klingon vessel. "Shit." Jim cursed. "Spock, give me all six fuel cells." He called. He manoeuvred trying to escape it, flying through various tunnels and gaps. But it was constantly on their tail. He flew into another large underground network of caves and abandoned buildings; ducking and diving the small trading ship anywhere he could.

He aimed for a small gap in the far wall and flew at it at top speed. It was barely big enough for their ship.

"Captain, we won't fit." Spock warned.

"We will fit." Jim cried.

"We won't fit!"

"WE WILL FIT WE WILL FIT." He shouted as they slammed through the small space.

They bashed off the walls a couple of times but made it out safely. Jim released the breath he'd been holding. "See. We did fit." He boasted.

"I'm not sure that qualifies." Spock remarked.

Suddenly, the room lit up. They were surrounded by three enemy ships, shouting orders at them in Klingon. "They want us to land." Uhura panicked.

Jim sighed. "So much for uninhabited, Spock."

"It must be a patrol, sir."

They landed and discussed a plan that hopefully wouldn't get them tortured and killed. Uhura was their only chance. It was the exact reason he brought her. Jim squeezed her shoulders. "Be careful. We've got your back and you've got this." He reassured. She nodded and stepped out of the ship cautiously. Jim grabbed everyone a phaser and watched intently.

Uhura approached the leader and spoke clearly in Klingon. She informed them about the war criminal they were pursuing and explained that he could pose a serious threat to them also. She gave a brave speech. She remained tall and proud as she spoke, showing no weakness at all. But it wasn't enough. The leader was too disgusted by her human form to listen. He grabbed her by the throat and went to stab her. Jim gasped and moved to run out.

As they left the shuttle, a loud bang echoed through the room and shots rained down on them. The leader let Uhura go and she stabbed him in the leg to escape. She turned to see a hooded stranger shooting at them, then ran for cover. Spock, Jim and the two security members were already attacking and helping in the fight. The red rays lit up the room. They all ducked for cover, attacking any enemy that came across them with a mixture of firepower and hand to hand combat. The hooded figure shot down the Klingon ships with ease. Luckily he was taking most of the enemies down.

Jim shot several Klingons before ducking down a narrow path. He came into contact with another enemy that knocked his phaser away and proceeded to chase him. He evaded every swing, getting in a few punches of his own before stumbling backwards and falling. The Klingon jumped on him and began battering his fragile human body. Klingons were double the strength of humans.

Spock saw the struggle. He sprinted over and knocked the enemy out with one punch he was so furious. "You just knocked out a Klingon with one hit!" Jim rasped from the floor. He was _definitely_ giving spock bedroom eyes. "I'm stronger and he shouldn't have touched you." Spock grinned and held out his hand for his captain to take.

As Jim grasped it, the waves of warmth and pleasure that ran through them were overpowering. His breath hitched. Spock yanked him into an embrace, pulling his hand away to wrap it protectively around Jim's waist. Jim's arms were wrapped loosely around his neck. Their faces were inches apart. Time seemed to slow as they gazed at each other under the red rain of bullets. Jim could barely breathe, all he wanted to do was _kiss_ _him_. Spock felt pleasure rush over him from the lusty look on Jim's face. He edged closer.. So close. Jim's eyes slid shut. The moment came to a sad halt when they were tackled to the floor by another angry Klingon. Spock brought his arm up to shield them and took four heavy hits.

Uhura came to the rescue and shot the enemy. "There you are!" She gasped. Spock dragged Jim up by the arm and they ran for safety. Jim collapsed by a rock in exhaustion and Uhura sat with him. Spock bent down and placed a hand on his captain's arm and the other on his leg, protectively covering him. He quickly scanned the area. Uhura's eyes softened, the Vulcan was so much closer to Jim than he even realised. Spock noted a gun nearby and ran to grab it, returning and crouching in front of his team.

The hooded figure finally revealed himself. It was that bastard Harrison. He took out the last few Klingons with some fancy hand to hand combat and knife skills, then picked up a weapon and approached the three. Uhura clutched to Jim's arm and Spock stood in front of them protectively. "Stand down!" He demanded, steadily aiming at the man.

Harrison powered forward and shot the weapon from Spock's hand. He began ranting and raving about the torpedos. "How many are there?" He finally shouted. Spock turned to his captain, then looked back at him. "Seventy two." He clarified calmly.

"I surrender." Harrison stressed, throwing down the gun. Spock took it and aimed at him again. Jim slowly stood up, his battered body aching. He approached the murderer. "On behalf of Christopher Pike, my friend, I accept your surrender." He declared. He went to turn away but instead, spun back, throwing his fist into Harrison's face. He punched him several times with as much force as his bruised body would allow and got some good kicks in. Harrison just stood there unwavering. He was like a machine. Jim gasped for breath as he kept trying to beat him, his attacks becoming weak. "Captain!" Uhura cried, trying to bring him to his senses before he passed out. Spock grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Captain." Harrison drawled; his voice like ice.

Jim retreated, a worried look on his face. "Cuff him." He rasped to Spock and made his way to the shuttle.

—


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi, hope you're all okay! So, I decided to change the rating after all.**

**Can we just take the time to appreciate Spock getting jealous of Carol Marcus and digging up dirt on her. That moment is so underrated XD**

**Warnings: Swearing and sex**

Chapter 4 - My name is Khan.

Once they were back on the ship, security surrounded Harrison. They escorted him to the brig as instructed. Jim called for Bones to assist and he asked Uhura to notify Admiral Marcus that they'd captured the traitor.

"Jim! You look like shit as usual." McCoy commented. "So, why the hell did he surrender?"

"Thanks babe. Well, I dunno, but he just singlehandedly took out a patrol of Klingons and I wanna know how." Jim replied. Spock quirked an eyebrow at their peculiar choice of words.

They approached Harrison's cell. McCoy withdrew blood from him to analyse as instructed. Luckily, the man was complying. Harrison eyed Jim coldly. "Why aren't we moving Captain? An unexpected malfunction with your warp core perhaps? Conveniently stranding you on the edge of Klingon space." His voice was still like ice and he drawled out the words every time he opened his mouth.

"How the hell do you know that?" McCoy growled. Jim silenced him and asked him to go and check out the sample.

"I think you will find my insight to be quite valuable." Harrison smirked. Jim rolled his eyes and began walking away, Spock in tow. "If you ignore me then you will get every person on this ship killed." Harrison warned.

Jim hesitated. "Captain, I believe he will only attempt to manipulate you." Spock fretted.

"Give me a minute." He replied. Spock gave a curt nod and left the room. Jim took a moment to think then stormed back to the cell's glass. "Listen here you son of a bitch, you are a criminal. I had the authorisation to kill you. The only reason you're still alive is because I'm allowing it. So shut your damn mouth." He spat.

"You clearly want to end my life, so tell me, why did you allow me to live? I believe It is because you have a conscience and that's why I know you will listen to me. , coordinates not far from earth. If you want to know why I did what I did, go and take a look." He dryly replied.

"Give me one good reason I should listen to you." Jim growled.

Khan's look darkened. "I can give you seventy two and they're right here on your ship. I suggest you open one up."

Jim stormed out of the room. He decided to head to the observation deck for a quick break. On the way, he ran into Spock; the Vulcan asked to accompany him. The observation room was empty except for a bench facing the window. Spock sat there quietly. Jim paced to the large round window and gazed out at the beautiful stars that littered the dark sky. Spock couldn't help but watch in awe at how beautiful his captain looked in the soft glow.

Jim sighed and opened his communicator to contact Scotty. "Well, if it isn't Mister James Tiberius perfect hair." The man taunted. Spock couldn't stop the small smirk that appeared on his face. The comment was rather accurate. Jim chuckled and asked if he were drunk. Scotty wasn't impressed. He began ranting but Jim cut him off to explain there was something wrong with the torpedos. Jim gave him the coordinates and asked him to check it out.

"I'm not doing you any favours." Scotty childishly remarked.

"Scotty, stop. You're the one that quit." Jim moaned.

"YOU MADE ME QUIT!" Scotty screamed, then ended the call.

Jim growled and snapped the device shut. He walked over and slumped on the bench beside Spock; crossing his arms. "Scotty is still pissed at me. I hope he sees sense and takes a look." He sighed.

"He will not let you down." Spock soothed.

Jim smiled before turning into a frown. "Harrison wants us to check inside the torpedos."

Spock shot a concerned glance. "Will you, Captain?"

"Yep." Came the cold confirmation.

After a minute of staring out the window in a comfortable silence, Spock spoke. "Captain. Permission to speak freely."

"Granted." Jim murmured. His eyes felt heavy._ 'Please don't mention Kronos, please don't mention Kronos.'_

"Captain. I am confused at why you were so furious about the Nibiru incident. You think I was being reckless; yet you are self-destructive and seem to lack all self preservation instinct." He chided.

_'Phew..' _"That's not quite the point Spock. I have a lot of emotion and you just didn't seem to care. But you cleared it up already. You're right. It was just strange coming from you. I'm sorry Spock. Honestly." He replied softly.

Spock hummed in reply and the comfortable silence fell over them again. After a short while, Spock felt Jim's head drop onto his shoulder. The Vulcan smiled, he thought Jim could do with a rest. He began to brush his fingers through the perfect, soft hair.

Jim was out for ten minutes before Spock lightly woke him. "Captain, we should make our move now." He murmured.

"Shit, I fell asleep?" Jim asked groggily. He cleared his throat, got up and straightened out his uniform.

"You appeared to need it sir." Spock reassured.

Jim chuckled and they made their way to the bridge.

—

"Are you out of your corn fed mind? You're not actually gonna listen to this guy?" McCoy raged. Spock agreed with him but strangely, it only ended up causing an argument between the two about logic and emotions, then something about Spock being a 'pointy-eared gremlin'.

"Will you two stop that shit? You're giving me a migraine." Jim complained, running his hands through his hair.

"Look, you don't just open up a missile because someone dared you to Jim. Who is even qualified to do that?" McCoy snapped at him.

"The Admiral's daughter seems to have a keen interest in them." Spock answered casually.

Jim's jaw dropped. "Did you just say Admiral's daughter?"

Spock inwardly smirked. "Yes sir. Carol Marcus concealed her identity as Miss Wallace, to board the ship."

"You kept that one quiet you green-blooded son of a bitch." Bones chided.

"It did not become relevant until now. I would also appreciate it if you did not ref.."

"Not refer to your mother as a female dog, got it."

Jim rolled his eyes and marched off to find Carol. McCoy waited until he was out of sight, then slowly turned to Spock, a sly grin plastered on his face. The Vulcan raised an eyebrow in question. "I can't believe you. You were so pissed at the girl for stepping on your toes, that you actually dug some dirt up on her? That's fantastic Spock. You're becoming more human by the day." He chuckled and slapped Spock's shoulder.

"I merely checked her status for the safety of our Captain and our ship." Spock frowned.

McCoy's grin widened. "You mean you merely checked her status because of your jealousy over our captain." He winked and walked away. spock went a light shade of green.

Once Jim was with Carol, she began furiously apologising for sneaking on the ship. Jim didn't actually care about that, he'd done the same on multiple occasions after all. She then stated she had no idea what was in the torpedos and that's why she boarded the Enterprise. She couldn't even find anything about them in the classified files.

With a considerable amount of thought, Jim decided to send Carol and Bones down to a nearby uninhabited, unmarked planet to open it. It was the only way to keep the Enterprise safe. Jim grinned at McCoy's reaction when he told him. "God damn it Jim, I'm a doctor not a torpedo technician." He whined.

—

McCoy carried their tools out to the device. He had Jim on the communicator the whole time. "Thanks for doing this Bones. You have the steadiest hands on the ship." Jim praised.

McCoy looked around at the empty planet. It was completely flat and dusty. Just one big eye sore really. "You know, when I thought about being deserted on a planet with a gorgeous woman, it didn't involve a TORPEDO and a wasteland." He huffed. Jim chuckled and listened in as they moved everything in to position.

"Tell your green blooded guard dog to take good care of you when I'm gone. Oh and tell him not to try any of that Vulcan mind voodoo shit on you." McCoy said.

Jim laughed. "You're not gonna die Bones. And stop picking on Spock!"

He continued to listen to the feed. He shook his head and smirked at the amount of tacky flirting his friend was doing. He listened intently as Carol asked him to cut a certain wire, being very careful not to knock anything else. He heard a strange whirring sound then a cry from his friend.

"Bones?!" He shouted.

Sulu spun in his seat to face him. "Captain, the torpedo just armed its self." He cautioned. A thirty second countdown appeared on the screen. "Shit." Jim breathed.

"I'm stuck, I can't get my arm out." Bones cried.

"Someone beam them back!" Jim ordered.

Spock moved to stand next to him, absentmindedly placing a hand on his shoulder. "Captain, the transporter cannot differentiate between the doctor and the torpedo. You won't be able to beam aboard one without the other."

"Marcus, can you get him out?" Jim pleaded.

The device could be heard powering up more and more as the time went down. "I'm trying I'm trying." She fretted.

"Jim, just get her out of here." Bones begged.

"I'm not leaving you buddy." Jim promised. He brought his hand up to clutch Spock's; comfort and panic passing between them.

"Oh God Jim, this is it." Bones whined and began to count down from ten. Jim held his breath as he listened to Carol work. "5.. 4.. 3.."

"Shit!" She shouted and everything went quiet. She had stopped the timer. Everyone on the bridge let out the breath they'd been holding. Spock removed his hand when Jim lowered his. "Bones, are you alright?" He rasped. So glad he didn't lose his best friend. It was too close.

"Jim. You're gonna wanna see this." Came the stunned, breathless reply.

—

They beamed back with the unlocked torpedo, transported it to sickbay and showed Jim the cryotube that was hidden inside. Jim studied the man within the tube; a puzzled look on his face.

"He's three hundred years old!" McCoy exclaimed. They hadn't needed to freeze anybody since they developed warp capabilities, so it would be an old device.

Jim frowned and stormed back to Harrison's cell with Spock. "Why is there a man in that torpedo?" He demanded. Harrison explained that there were men and women in every torpedo, he had put them there himself. He explained that he was a genetically engineered superhuman, designed to lead others to peace in a war. But they were condemned as criminals and forced into exile. They had slept for centuries until Marcus had found them adrift and revived him. He'd tried to use him as a weapon and when it went wrong, he invented the name Harrison.

Harrison didn't exist.

"My name.. is Khan." He hissed darkly.

It made Jim's blood run cold. "Why would an admiral need a three hundred year old frozen man to do some dirty work for him?"

"Because I am better, I am superior. I am faster, stronger and more intelligent than any human." He seethed. He glanced at Spock like he was an insect. "How could you be expected to break bone?" He mocked. He turned his attention back to Jim "Marcus tried to get you to fire those torpedos on enemy land and now he's crippled you in enemy space. The Klingons would come and destroy you without any hope of escape. Marcus would finally have the war he always wanted."

Jim lost his shit. Spock realised that his captain's feelings from Tarsus IV were probably surfacing and making it worse. "No! You are a fucking murderer. I watched you kill those unarmed officers and civilians without a care. You have destroyed so many lives!" He screamed at him.

Khan looked away. "I had to because my crew were being held hostage by Marcus. I had no choice." He turned back to Jim with a tear rolling down his face. "My crew are my family. Is there anything you wouldn't do for your family?" He sadly asked.

Jim couldn't answer. He looked at Spock for a good few seconds, then looked away. His mind fleeted again to the thought of Tarsus IV. Spock didn't miss the fact that Jim had looked at him when Khan mentioned family. It made him feel warm inside. They were interrupted by Sulu's voice. "Sir there's a ship at warp heading straight for us, but not from Kronos." He warned.

Khan gazed at him. "We both know who that is." He hissed.

Jim ordered Khan be moved to medbay and placed under high security. He ran back to the bridge. Spock in tow. "Sulu, shields." He called as he jumped in his chair. He was just in time to witness the enormous unmarked ship drop out of warp right in front of them. He gazed at it in shock. Uhura let him know they were hailing. He asked her to broadcast it ship wide so that it was logged. He put on his best game face.

Admiral Marcus appeared on the screen. Jim filled with dread, but didn't show it. "Admiral Marcus. I wasn't expecting you. That's one hell of a ship you've got." He grinned.

"And I wasn't expecting to get word that you'd violated your orders and taken Harrison in to custody." Marcus seethed.

"Well. We had to improvise when our warp core unexpectedly malfunctioned. But you already knew that, didn't you sir." He questioned. Sulu notified him that Marcus was scanning their ship.

Jim smirked. "Is there something I can help you find?"

"Where is your prisoner?"

"I'm planning on returning KHAN to earth to stand trial."

The Admiral's look darkened. "Ah shit. You spoke to him." He went on to explain how dangerous Khan and his crew were and that they had to be put to immediate death. "He's playing you son. Give him to me, this is your last chance." He growled.

Jim sighed. "Khan's in engineering. I'll have him moved to the transporter room right away." He ended the transmission and warned Sulu not to drop the shields.

"Captain, given your awareness of Khan's true location in sickbay, can I know the details of your plan?" Spock asked.

"I told you we're taking the fugitive back to Earth. So that's exactly what we're gonna do." He replied and opened communications to engineering. "Mister Chekov, can we warp?"

"Sir, if we warp, we run ze risk of seriously damaging ze core. We can do it, but I would not advise it." The Russian replied.

"Noted! Mister Sulu set course for Earth. Punch it." He commanded.

They were in warp for thirty seconds when Carol ran on the bridge. "Captain, he will catch up and you're going to need to use me to save your ship." She cried.

"Relax. That's impossible." Jim replied before Sulu interrupted him.

"Sir I'm getting a reading I don't understand."

The large ship had indeed caught up. Shock spread across every face on the bridge. The warship sped over them and attacked, making the whole ship shudder. It shot them a few more times, forcing them violently out of warp.

"Where are we." Jim rasped. Sulu notified him that they were still too far. They were closer to Earth's moon. The enemy ship wouldn't stop firing. He had to use Carol. Uhura hailed Marcus again.

When Marcus appeared, he was shocked to see her on the ship. She tried her best to comfort him and beg him to stop, to do the right thing. She threatened that she would stay on the ship no matter what he did, but he wasn't having it. He laughed as he managed to beam her straight from the bridge to his ship. Everyone shared panicked looks.

"USS Enterprise. Because you have gone rogue on enemy territory, I have had no option but to chase you down and eliminate you. Lock phasers." He growled.

"Wait wait wait." Jim cried "I'm sorry. These actions were mine and mine alone. Please, spare my crew and I'll do anything you want.. Please sir.. Let them live." He begged. Spock watched him with sad eyes.

The admiral smirked. "That's one hell of an apology, but if it was any consolation, I was never going to let them live." He chuckled and terminated the feed.

Jim turned to his crew, looking at each one. "I'm so sorry." He wavered. The crew looked devastated. His gaze landed on Spock. He could see curiosity and sadness lingering in the Vulcan's eyes.

"Sir! Their weapons have powered down!" Sulu exclaimed. Jim shot him a puzzled look. Scotty's voice flooded through the ship. "Sir, you'll never guess what I found behind Jupiter." He sang.

"Scotty! You're on that ship?!" Jim shouted; eyes beaming with happiness and relief. He knew he could count on his friend. Scotty had sabotaged the ships weapons systems buying them some time. He walked over to Spock and winked. The Vulcan was right, Scotty didn't let him down. "How's our ship?" He asked.

"Our actions are limited. We cannot fight and we cannot flee." Spock informed.

"Right, I already have a plan. You take the conn." He squeezed Spock's shoulder and walked away. He already knew Spock would be incredibly upset that he was going in a landing party without him. It was always the same.

Spock had a feeling of dread. He marched behind Jim closely, ranting and objecting to his plan. He didn't need to be informed on what was happening to gather an idea. Jim would be endangering his life, boarding the enemy ship and trusting Khan; the very man they were sent to destroy. Spock put up a good argument but Jim wasn't having any of it; he just carried on walking. The Vulcan felt his stress levels rising.

Jim sighed. "I told you, I'm the one using Khan, not the other way around. It'll be fine."

"I will go with you." Spock demanded.

Jim frowned. "No. I need you on the bridge."

They turned down another hall. "It is too dangerous for you Captain. How exactly will you get there, even if he does agree to help?"

Jim shrugged. "We're going through the airlock."

"Captain, too much could go wrong. There is an abundance of debris and it is an incredibly small door. Your chances of survival would be low, even with perfect guidance."

"Drop it Spock, I'm going. The chance won't be that low." Jim growled and quickened his pace.

Spock sighed deeply and grabbed Jim's shoulder, roughly dragging him into the storage room next to them and using his override to lock it. "I cannot allow you to do this." He snapped. For once, he wasn't concealing his emotion. Fear and sadness swamped his eyes. It made Jim's heart ache.

"Look Spock. I know this is not logical and I know it's hard for you to understand, but it's a gut feeling. I honestly have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I only know what I can do. The Enterprise needs someone who knows what they're doing and that's not me, It's you. Our ship and crew need you." He soothed.

He reached up to wrap his arms around Spock's neck and pulled him into a hug. Spock's arms slipped around his waist. "Take care of them for me." Jim whispered.

Spock tightened his hold. "I need to take care of you." He murmured. He angled his head down to kiss his captain's neck.

"Spock." Jim breathed. His eyes fluttered closed at the feeling. He moaned softly as Spock kissed and played with his skin. He tilted his head to allow more access. He gasped as he felt Spock's tongue dance across his neck.

He pulled back to look at Spock with hazy, lust filled eyes. "I want you." He rasped. It was all Spock needed to hear. He picked Jim up with ease, slamming him against the back wall, earning a surprised gasp. "Mister Spock.." Jim cooed and wrapped his legs around his first officer's waist. Spock leaned in and captured his lips in a soft, delicate first kiss. Jim sweetly sighed and deepened it, sliding their tongues together. His heart skipped a beat as he heard Spock moan. When it got too heated, Spock moved to suck and bite Jim's shoulder instead. "Spock..." Jim gasped. "More."

A hand dived into Jim's hair and grasped the gold locks. "Captain." Spock purred seductively into his ear. Jim couldn't handle it any more. The way Spock addressed him sent a wave of pleasure rushing through him. He pushed himself down and began undressing Spock as he kissed him in random places. He hastily pulled his own clothes off and gazed at the Vulcan with hungry eyes. He wanted his first officer so badly.

Spock picked him up once again, shoving him back against the wall, gasping at the connection their bodies made. Jim reached for his Commander's hand and slowly began to suck two fingers. Spock gasped and moaned at the overly sensitive touch. Waves of pleasure coursed through him as he felt the hot tongue swirl around them. When Jim let go, Spock pulled his hand back and used the fingers to prepare him. Jim's head rolled. "Oh God. Spock." He groaned.

Spock paused, gazing into Jim's darkened eyes. "Are you sure about this?" He murmured.

"Please.. I need you." Jim begged. Spock placed a soft kiss against his lips then pushed into him. Jim cried out with pleasure as he hit something magical. Spock gasped and began a slow rhythm. He took Jim's hand and interlocked their fingers, holding it against the wall above his head. The other was still on his lover's hip, gripping and digging into the skin. Jim used his free hand to play with the back of Spock's hair. The pleasure that washed over them was intense. Spock began to quicken his pace. He couldn't get enough of Jim's little moans and cries of ecstasy. He wanted more. He quickened again and pushed deeper, hitting the spot harder. Over and over.

"Spock.. I'm almost there." Jim cried. It was enough to send Spock over the edge. With one last thrust, he came, moaning his captain's name. Jim cried out as he followed. Spock pulled him into a deep kiss; swallowing his moans.

Jim's head dropped over Spock's shoulder, his body went limp as he succumbed to the pleasure. Spock continued to hold him and placed delicate kisses over his neck, earning soft sighs of approval. He released Jim's hand and moved his own to his lover's shoulder. He trailed it slightly lower and felt the small scars on his collarbone. He traced his fingers over them and kissed them delicately. He could still remember the crippling fear he felt that day, when Jim had almost died. He didn't think he'd grabbed him in time. He realised that day, that he was developing strong feelings for his captain. He never thought they would be in their current position. He felt like he was floating.

After a few minutes of bliss, Jim shakily got down. They cleaned themselves off with some wipes that were in the room. They both got dressed again. Jim smiled and brought his arms around Spock's neck again. "That was.. Surreal Spock. I've never felt that good before." He breathed. a light blush covered his face. Spock smiled a genuine warm smile. Jim returned it, then glanced away. His look became pained and Spock frowned in question.

"You know.. I don't want to hurt you.. But I still need to leave. I'll be fine. You know somehow, I always am. I need to do this." Jim murmured.

Spock looked at him with sad, pleading brown eyes. He could never stand Jim being on an away team without him and for some reason, it felt as if he would surely lose him this time. "Please.. don't." He weakly begged and ran his thumb down Jim's cheek.

Jim's heart ached seeing Spock look at him that way. He leaned in to kiss him softly. He pulled back and ran his hands down Spock's arms, ghosting his fingers slowly along the Vulcan's. Reassurance washed over Spock through the light connection. Jim smiled and turned to open the door. For a second, Spock got lost in his love's beautiful ocean eyes. Then just like that, he was gone.

Spock watched the door breathlessly. He had so many mixed emotions. The fear of Jim getting into trouble, but also, the thoughts trying to process what had just happened between them. Was he just another one of Jim's quick flings? He couldn't help but feel hurt at the thought. He was sure that's all it was. He was fully aware of Jim's friendship for him and nothing more. Jim was just a promiscuous human.

He began to squash the emotions back down, but he couldn't help the feeling of dread that still washed over him. Their conversation had felt so final, despite Jim's reassurance. He forced the illogical feeling aside, straightened his uniform and made his way back to the bridge. _'Be safe, my love.' _He thought.

—


	5. Chapter 5

**Warnings: Violence, swearing **

Chapter 5 - The Wrath of Khan

Jim strolled in to sickbay with the biggest smile on his face. He was beaming. McCoy had just injected Khan's blood into a dead Tribble to study its effects. He stopped to frown at his best friend. "Why are you so damn happy? Everything is going to shit." He lightly scolded. _'I bet the hobgoblin finally confessed!'_

Jim rolled his eyes. "Trouble with your Tribble? Maybe if you give it a kiss it'll wake up." He grinned.

"Cheeky shit." Bones scoffed and got back to work.

Jim proceeded to speak to Khan. His happiness quickly faded and his look darkened. "Tell me everything you know about that ship." He ordered.

"The USS Vengeance. Dreadnought class, twice as big, three times as fast, and far more heavily armed than the Enterprise. Basically, a war machine." He stated. Jim rubbed his hand through his hair and sighed. He explained his crazy plan to board the other ship and Khan tried to decline but he managed to persuade him.

"Dammit Jim, why do you have to do crazy, suicidal shit all the time?" Bones whined.

"I'll be fine _mom_." Jim laughed in reply and slung his arm over his friend's shoulder in a sloppy side-hug before leaving.

He hastily pulled out his communicator and briefed Scotty. The engineer thought he was insane and expressed his disapproval, but still agreed to go along with it. Khan informed Scotty about the airlock they were aiming for and that he had to initiate a manual override to open the door.

"Khan, I'll meet you at the airlock. There's something I've gotta do." Jim said and jogged away. Sulu began to move the ship into position.

Jim entered his quarters and grabbed a pen and paper. He sat, lost in thought for a while. He felt a lump in his throat as he began to scribble a paragraph down. He folded it neatly and wrote Spock's name on the front. "If something happens. I need you to have something." He muttered to himself. He stuffed it in his pocket and made his way to meet Khan. He prayed the letter would never have to find its way to Spock. He didn't want to break his heart.

—

They both suited up and entered the airlock. "Scotty, how we doing over there?" Jim asked.

"I wish I had better news sir. They will have full power in only a few minutes and I won't be able to stop them again. Standby." He replied.

"Captain, the ships are aligned." Spock informed. Jim could detect the worry in the Vulcan's voice. He smiled sadly. "Thank you Spock.. Scotty?"

"Bare.. with me.. I'm running." The engineer panted. "Whoa whoa whoa, sir this door is very wee... I mean it's very small. It'll be like.. jumping out of a moving car, off a bridge, into a shot glass." He rambled.

"It's fine, I've done it before." Jim shrugged. Khan stared at him as if he'd grown another head. "What?! It was vertical.. it.. nevermind." He rolled his eyes.

"Did you find the manual override yet?" They asked at the same time.

"Not yet!" Scotty growled. "Bloody impatient bastards." He cursed under his breath.

"Captain, just to inform you, there is an excessive amount of debris between you and the other ship." Spock cautioned. On the bridge he was inwardly panicking, though trying not to. McCoy had noticed, being a doctor and all. He approached the acting Captain and squeezed his shoulder. "He's gonna be fine." He consoled, then went to his station.

"Right, I'm ready with the door." Scotty informed.

"Open her up Spock." Jim ordered. He and Khan braced themselves.

Spock hesitated over the button and everyone on the bridge turned to stare at him. "Be careful, Captain." He murmured. He took a deep breath and hit the button. "3..2..1" the door opened and they flew out. Spock felt like he was struggling to breathe as his eyes locked on Jim and his vitals. His chest felt tight with anxiety.

Immediately the debris was in their way. Jim had to change his position three times. Spock kept alerting him any time something went too close. He couldn't stop the panic that laced his voice and was struggling to control himself. All his emotional barriers had been crushed from their 'session' together.

"Jim, you're way off course!" McCoy shouted.

"I know Bones!" Jim called back. He altered his position again to get back on track. He kept calling Scotty to check he was waiting with the door, but wasn't receiving a reply.

"Captain, move to your left point four degrees." Spock called. Jim returned to the correct position, when a tiny piece of debris hit and cracked his visor. His breathing quickened as he began to panic. _'Shit!'_ He thought. His sensors were flashing and beginning to quit on him. He really didn't want to tell Spock.

"Captain, your vitals are off, is everything alright?" Spock questioned.

Jim ignored him and looked to his left so he could rely on Khan instead. The man was suddenly taken out by large debris. "Khan's been hit!" He gasped. He stared blankly ahead as Spock informed that they were trying to locate him.

His visor completely cracked. _'Fuck.'_ He thought. He lost all visual. He felt panic rising. He desperately didn't want to tell Spock. He sighed. He'd never been scared of dying before; but ever since Spock made love to him, everything had changed. He could feel it in the way Spock delicately kissed him and the way he touched his scars. Why had he been so blind as to never realise it before? All the times Spock protected him, held him, stroked his hair. It became so painfully obvious to him. That Spock was in love with him.

He never feared death until now. Now, he had too much to lose. He couldn't think of anything worse than dying and taking Spock's broken heart with him. His thoughts were interrupted.

"Captain, you are straying much too far from your course. Please alter." Spock warned.

"Spock.. My display is dead, I'm flying blind." He faltered.

Spock felt as if his heart were about to stop. He hesitated, trying to control his emotions before speaking. "Captain, without your visor, your chance of making it to the door is mathematically impossible." He sadly stated.

"Spock, if I get back, we really need to talk about your bedside manner." Jim chuckled, trying his best to lighten the mood.

"Kid, don't you damn well die on us!" Bones scolded. Jim laughed again.

Sulu turned to face Spock. "Sir, he's not going to make it." He murmured.

Spock felt a wave of dizziness rush through him. He couldn't lose him, he just couldn't. He should never have let him go.

"Jim.." His voice broke.

Jim had a lump in his throat. It was just as painful as he expected it to be. "It's.. it's okay Spock." He breathed. Just as he was about to say goodbye, Khan appeared at his side and guided him back on track. "Boy am I glad to see you." Jim rasped. "Right Scotty, we need a warm welcome!" He shouted.

Spock felt intense relief that Khan was back to help; though they weren't yet out of danger. He ordered Scotty to open the door and began a 10 second countdown. As he neared the end, Jim was screaming at the engineer to open the door.

"OPEN THE DOOR." Spock shouted one last time.

Scotty hit the button right in the nick of time. Khan and Kirk flew in, rolling down the long hall and landed in a heap by his feet. "Welcome aboard." The engineer chuckled.

"Good to see you Scotty! Uh, this is Khan." Jim rasped. "Mister Spock, we are safely aboard." He informed and disconnected the feed. They each grabbed a phaser, set it to stun and made their way to the bridge, Khan showing the way.

—

Jim and Scotty were struggling to fight against a couple of officers. They'd dropped their phasers and were fighting hand to hand. They looked over at Khan who easily whooped the life out of four of them, then ran off. "Where's he gone?" Scotty asked.

Jim growled and raced off to find him but Khan returned to them. "This way." He called and moved again.

Jim hesitated. "He's like a damn ninja." He scoffed. He turned to Scotty. "When we get there, drop him." He whispered.

"Khan? I thought he was helping us."

"Nah, I'm pretty sure we're helping him."

They found the bridge and stormed in, stunning everyone except Marcus and Carol. Jim came to stand in front of the Admiral and signalled for Scotty to stun Khan. "Make sure he stays down." He ordered once he was unconscious.

"Admiral Marcus, you're under arrest." He growled.

"You need to think about what you're doing! You've attacked the Klingons and even if you manage to slip through unnoticed, war is coming! Who's going to lead us.. you? If I'm not in charge then our entire way of life is decimated." Marcus shouted.

"Get out of that chair, or I will stun your ass and drag you out. But I'd rather not do that in front of your daughter." Jim rebuked.

"Jim!" Carol shouted. Khan jumped up, knocking Scotty out and lunged for him. He smashed Jim to the ground, knocking the wind out of him and began beating him. There was no contest, Jim was far too weak in comparison. He threw Jim across the bridge, then injured Carol's leg for getting in his way.

When he eyed Marcus trying to escape, he sprinted over and grabbed the man's head in his hands. His look was one of pure hatred. "You should have let me sleep." He snarled as he crushed the man's skull. Carol's screams echoed through the bridge and Jim backed away in horror.

Back on the Enterprise Spock approached his helmsman. "Where is our Captain Mister Sulu?" He questioned. He was interrupted when Jim's pained moan came over the speakers. Spock snapped around as Khan appeared on the screen. He was holding Jim tightly by his hair and had a phaser at his neck, set to kill. Jim's face was blood stained. "Captain!" Spock cried. He was both worried and furious. How dare that piece of shit hurt him. "You betrayed us!" He growled at Khan.

"Oh you are smart Mister Spock." Khan cooed.

"Spock don't—" Jim cried, but was struck with the weapon and collapsed. Spock's stare turned even darker.

"You look like you want to hurt me commander." Khan grinned. "Give me my crew."

Spock took a breath and regained his composure. "And what will you do with them?"

"I will carry on our work of course."

Spock frowned. "Which I believe involves the mass genocide of any being you find to be, less than superior."

"Shall I just destroy you Spock? Or will you give me what I want?" He hissed.

"We have no transporter capabilities."

"Well fortunately, mine are fully functional. Drop. Your. Shields."

"How do I know you will not destroy the Enterprise?" Spock questioned. He was only trying to stall. Jim began to stir.

Khan smirked again. "Let's play this out logically then Mister Spock. Firstly I will kill your precious captain in front of you, then I will starve your ship of oxygen and walk over your cold corpses to get what I want."

Spock purposely hesitated for a while. "Lower shields." He called.

"Spock no!" Jim shouted. Khan walked over and kicked him. Hard. Jim began coughing and crying out in pain as his ribs cracked. Spock was raging.

"A wise choice Mister Spock... look at you. You seriously want to hurt me. A soft spot for your captain is it?" He grinned. He dragged Jim up by his hair again. "He is quite beautiful isn't he." He leaned in to kiss and suck his neck, watching the hate and jealousy burn in Spock's eyes. Jim kept his best poker face. Khan chuckled and pushed him away. He then sent them all back to the Enterprise. "I'll keep my word. After all, no ship should go down without her captain." He seethed.

—

The Enterprise shuddered as continuous shots began firing. The red alert rang through the halls. Scotty helped Carol as she was injured and Jim stumbled along next to them. They headed for medbay. The whole ship shook, almost knocking them off their feet a few times.

"Prepare for proximity damage." Spock's voice called over the system.

"What does he mean?!" Scotty shouted.

"He's armed the damn torpedos!" Jim shouted. There was a huge explosion and their ship violently swayed. The attack stopped. The USS Vengeance had been taken down.

They entered sickbay. "Bones! You set off the torpedos? I actually can't believe Spock would kill Khan's crew." He rasped.

McCoy grinned. "He didn't kill them. Check it out. 72 human popsicles!" He boasted.

"Son of a bitch!" Jim rasped, smiling. He grabbed a communicator. Bones smiled and grabbed him in a one armed hug, watching the pain creep across his face. "Don't do anything as stupid as that again okay?" He lightly scolded and tended to his injuries, starting with his ribs.

Jim chuckled. "You know I will. I always do. I've gotta take care of everyone."

McCoy rolled his eyes with a smile. Jim opened the communicator. "Spock, we're back and in sickbay." He called through. Before he could get a reply, there was another rough shake and power went out all around the ship. The Enterprise began to fall.

—

On the bridge Spock belted up. "As acting captain, I order you to abandon ship!" He demanded.

"With all do respect sir, we're not going anywhere." Sulu replied. The rest of the crew engaged their belts. Spock nodded his head in reply. He couldn't contact Jim back. Everything was down. He already knew his captain would be trying to restore power.

—

Scotty and Jim stumbled through the ship's halls trying to get to engineering. Luckily the doctor did a good job in what little time he had. Jim felt a new energy propelling him along. Sparks flew from the damaged areas and the ship shuddered and swayed. "One day I've been off this ship. One bloody day!" Scotty shouted.

The gravity systems failed and they rolled on to the roof as the ship spun over. When it corrected again, they had to run. They made it to engineering and the ship rolled again. Jim grabbed the railing but Scotty was too weak. As he fell, Jim grabbed his arm. They were hanging for seconds when Jim's fingers began to slip. "No." He growled. Scotty closed his eyes, preparing for the worst. As they slipped, Jim's hand was snatched out of the air by Chekov. "I've got you!" He cried. Jim grinned at the boy. The ship turned right side up again and they climbed back on, thanking the Russian and running to the core.

"Wait, we need to hit the manual override." Scotty shouted above the noise.

"I can do zat." Chekov shouted in reply and sprinted off in another direction.

Scotty and Jim got to the core just as the Russian flipped the switch. 'Core misaligned... Core misaligned.' The computer's chant ran throughout the room.

Scotty turned a ghostly white. "No!... The ship's dead sir... She's gone... The only way to align the core is inside." He panicked. Jim raced across and opened the core's door. "No Captain! There's too much radiation! We'd be dead before we even made the climb!" He shouted, trying to pull him away.

Jim paused to look at him. "You're not making the climb." He rasped then hit Scotty as hard as he could; knocking him out. He caught him and placed him carefully in a seat, engaging his belt. "I'm sorry." He whispered. He took a deep breath and entered the core.

—

**A/N: Ahhh the super sad scene is coming. It's pretty raw.  
****I hope you've all been enjoying this :) **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So, I've just realised my edits on here don't always save. So I'm sorry if you come across typos. I did correct them. I go through my chapters a good five times before posting. **

**Anyway.. I really wanted to go for Spock's raw 'primitive' emotions on this one.**

**The idea of Jim's note I got from the song 'Sorry' by Halsey. Have a listen if you haven't before. It's beautiful.**

**Instead of doing two chapters, I've done one long mega-chapter. Enjoy :)**

**(Jdragonfire29 - thank you :] )**

**Warnings: character death, swearing, violence, suicidal references, more sexy time.**

Chapter 6 - How the heart bleeds

Jim took a deep breath, sighed and entered the core. He crawled through the small tunnel as swiftly as he could, already feeling the affects of the previous radiation.

All he could think about was Spock. He knew that he was physically saving him, but he would be mentally destroying him. Tears stung his eyes. It was the only way.

The tunnel opened up to a large room, the main core was at the top. He could see it tilted out of position. He began his ascent, climbing the large metal tubes.

—

Back on the bridge, Sulu shot Spock a panicked glance. "If we don't get power soon, we will be incinerated on re-entry." He shouted.

Spock studied the disaster around him. As the ship began to burn and break; he thought of Jim. Was he safe? Was he trying to find a way to restore power? Would they die without ever seeing each other again? He felt nauseous at the thought. He had to trust that his captain would know what to do.

—

Jim could barely breathe from exhaustion. He'd finally reached the top. He steadied his breathing and held on to a bar above the core. He proceeded to use his entire body weight to kick the bottom of it back in to line. The machine whirred every time he slammed into it, almost connecting. He had to do it a painful fourteen times until it finally connected. The blast sent him flying back to the ground. He began to feel sick and light headed as the radiation swept through him, poisoning every inch of his body. His skin felt like it was on fire. He threw up, then began to crawl back out.

—

The bridge lit up like a Christmas tree. "Power's back on." Sulu cheered.

"Maximum thrusters Mister Sulu!" Spock ordered. The ship slowly ceased falling and began to rise back up. The whole bridge cheered. "It's a miracle." They said.

Spock scowled. "There are no such things." He mumbled. They were safe, but something didn't feel right.

"Engineering to bridge. Mister Spock. You'd better get down here. You'd better hurry." Scotty mournfully spoke.

A deep dark fear coursed through Spock's body; his blood ran cold. He jumped up and sprinted out of the room. He struggled to breathe through the tightness in his chest as he ran down the halls to engineering. He'd never ran so fast before. He'd never felt so terrified. 'Please don't be Jim.' He silently prayed.

After hearing the broadcast, Uhura and Sulu followed, Bones caught up with them in the hall and they tailed Spock.

He slowed and hesitantly approached Scotty. Chekov was next to him in floods of tears. He moved to join the others and they all watched on in heartbreak.

Spock looked Scotty in the eye. "Please... tell me it's not Jim." He begged with a broken voice.

Tears pricked the corner of Scotty's eyes. "I'm so sorry sir." He rasped.

Spock choked out a breath and tears lined his eyes. He felt like he was drowning. This could not be happening. Jim was infallible, nothing could happen to him, he couldn't be beaten. Spock hesitantly walked to the glass door. Jim had collapsed and was closing the inner door. "OPEN IT!" He shouted at Scotty. His tears threatening to spill. He became blinded by the raw emotion. His logic failing, he just wanted to save his... his _everything_.

"I'm sorry sir, but the door is locked. The decontamination process needs to finish." Scotty murmured with a broken voice.

Spock sunk to his knees, tapping on the glass to let Jim know he was there. Jim's breathing came in short pants, his eyes unfocused. He was suffering and it shattered Spock's heart. He knew his love wasn't going to make it, no matter what anyone did.

Jim focused his eyes to look at Spock. At the recognition of seeing him, a beautiful smile appeared on his face. "Spock!" he rasped, happiness evident in his voice. "How's our ship?"

Spock gave a small wobbly smile in return. "Out of danger. You saved us all." He choked; tears filling his eyes again. Jim was fading quickly.

Jim shot him his trademark bedroom eyes and grinned. "You used what he wanted against him. That's a nice move." He purred. Even on death's door, he was still his perfect, cheeky, human self. Spock breathed a tiny laugh as a stray tear fell. He quickly wiped it away.

Jim's smile widened.

Spock gazed at him brokenly. "You should not be here Jim. It should be me. I never should have let you go."

"No. Don't you dare do that to yourself. This was my choice. This is not on you, I promise you. Nothing you did could have changed this outcome." He rasped. He stopped to breathe for a few seconds and squeezed his drowsy eyes shut before opening them again. He was fighting to stay alive. Fighting for a little longer with Spock. "How.. How do you choose not to feel?" He whimpered.

"I do not know... Right now, I am failing." He cried mournfully; his tears finally falling. "I cannot lose you.. I will lose.. everything."

It tore Jim's heart to pieces seeing Spock like that. Tears built in his own eyes. "I want you to know why I couldn't let you die. Why I went back for you." He breathed.

"Because I am your friend." Spock sobbed.

Jim smiled, then looked regretful. His breathing became heavy and slow. He struggled to speak. He rolled his head slightly side to side "No." He croaked. He shakily brought his hand up to the glass. "Feel." He whispered.

Spock shakily brought his own hand up and placed it in line with Jim's. He focused on picking up Jim's energy and when he did, he was flooded. It took over his whole being. Fear, pain, regret.. and _love_. A bright and burning love, stronger than any he'd ever felt. A love that easily rivalled his own. Jim was _in love_ with him.

He gasped.

Jim shakily smiled at his realisation. He watched Spock with so much love, adoration and sadness. He took a deep, laboured breath and tears began to fall as he said his final words.

"I'm sorry I broke your heart."

Spock held his hand to Jim's and placed his forehead on the glass, letting his tears fall. "Jim!" He cried, silently pleading him to stay.

Jim's last few breaths came in slow painful wheezes, then he just couldn't breathe any more. The light left his beautiful eyes as he slipped away.

"No.. no, not yet. Stay with me Jim, please, I beg of you. Do not leave me. I need you here.. Please don't go... I love you." Spock cried, but it was too late, his love was already gone. He let out a blood curdling cry and sunk into himself. "I love you Jim... I love you." He mourned. His sobs filled the air. "I love you." He breathed again.

His friends held each other and cried as they watched. Nobody knew what to do.

Spock cried for fifteen minutes before a blood-boiling anger began to rise. He could feel it, crawling up, bubbling through his veins, completely taking a hold of him. "KHAN!" He screamed. He hit the wall so hard that it cracked.

Spock was on a warpath. His friends wanted to help so they wiped their tears, straightened their uniform and followed him straight to the bridge.

McCoy didn't Follow. He staggered over and knelt by the core's door, placing his hand on it. "I'm so sorry kid. I'm so very sorry." He croaked. He stumbled numbly back to sickbay, imagining a life without his best friend.

—

Khan's ship had taken out half the city and laid in ruins, but Spock knew he'd be alive. "Find him." He ordered. Both Sulu and Chekov intensely searched.

"Got him! He just jumped thirty metres!" Sulu exclaimed.

"Can you beam him up?" Spock asked.

"No, but we can beam you down." Chekov replied.

He nodded and sprinted to the transporter room.

Once he beamed down, he stopped right in Khan's path. Khan ran in another direction and Spock broke into a sprint after the man, powering through anything in his way. Khan was going to regret everything once he got hold of him.

The superhuman dived across vehicles and jumped off walls to get away, but his speed was no match for Spock's. He kept catching up.

—

Back on the Enterprise, McCoy was sat in his office softly sobbing into his arms when he felt something brush against him. He glanced up with a frown. The Tribble he'd injected with Khan's blood moved and purred. It had revived. "Get me a cryotube, NOW." He shouted. He began planning to save his best friend with the help of Carol. They were due to bring Jim's body in any minute. He desperately tried to contact Spock but had no luck. He needed Khan's blood. "McCoy to bridge, I can't reach Spock! I need Khan here and I need him alive, NOW. Someone get that son of a bitch on board. I think we can save Jim." He shouted down the comms unit.

—

Spock and Khan ended up on top of a moving shuttle. Spock grabbed him by the scruff and began battering the life out of him. His strength matched Khan's, but now he was fighting for a purpose. Fighting for his dead lover. It gave him a strength he never knew he had. Khan got in a lucky hit and fled to another shuttle. Spock followed and only just made it onto the other vehicle. It gave Khan the upper hand. He pinned Spock and began smacking him at full force and tried to crush his skull. Spock tore a piece of metal from the shuttle and hit him with it, making him stagger backwards.

Khan's face was a bloody mess and his clothes torn. They eyed each other hatefully. "All this because I roughed up your boyfriend a little bit." He grinned.

Spock's stare was ice cold. "He isn't roughed up; he is dead. You took him from me." He seethed.

"Oh my. No wonder you're coming at me with such.. passion." Khan purred and gave a dark, twisted, smirk. "I am so sorry for your tragic loss."

Spock screamed out and attacked him again. He grabbed Khan's arm over his shoulder and snapped it clean in half before pinning him to the floor. He proceeded to punch him over and over and over until his hand began to numb. Uhura had beamed down and began screaming at him to stop but he wouldn't listen. He was about to kill Khan when she cried out "We need him alive, he's our only way to save Jim."

His hand stopped and his breathing hitched.

After a short pause, he got in one last swift punch, knocking the man unconscious and they beamed back.

—

They were in the hospital and Spock was in shock. Once his anger had worn off, he became numb and empty. McCoy allowed him a minute to hold Jim's body. It was still cold, they'd only just began warming him up and cycling the blood through. Spock placed a kiss on his love's mouth and brokenly left.

Uhura approached Bones. "You should go with him. You're the next closest person to him." She fretted. She was really worried so he nodded then followed.

Spock walked and walked. McCoy watched from a distance wondering where on earth he was going. He didn't want to spook the Vulcan away. He could see he was really struggling with his grief. _'Poor Spock. How can you go from hiding and avoiding all emotion, __to having to deal with the worst loss possible?'_ He thought.

He followed Spock until he reached his destination. He felt sick at the pit of his stomach._ 'Golden gate bridge.'_ He shivered. He followed Spock to the top and watched as he climbed the railing and sat with his legs dangling over the edge.

He chose his moment to interrupt. "I sure hope you're not planning on jumping off there Spock. You annoy me, but you don't annoy me that much." He chuckled and climbed up to sit next to the Vulcan. He glanced at him sadly. "Spock.. This isn't like you at all."

Spock looked completely broken. "I cannot picture a universe without him." He mourned.

Bones frowned. "Spock. We've got the machine running, he's gonna be fine. What do you think will happen if he comes back and finds you gone? It'll destroy him."

"How can you assume it will work, just because it worked on one little Tribble."

"I just know it'll work, okay? Call it a gut feeling.. call it an act of faith. Please, just get down. I'm a doctor not a lifeguard. It's giving me the creeps on this edge."

Spock turned to look at him. He had fresh tears running and looked hesitant.

McCoy became desperate. "Spock, come on. You can't make an irrational, illogical decision when you don't even know if he's alright or not. Come and see him. He needs you right now."

Spock frowned. "He cannot need me if he is dead doctor."

"He isn't dead. His body might be, but his spirit is in there waiting! Fighting!"

Spock looked furious. "Do not sit there and tell me his spirit is waiting. I watched his spirit leave his body. I watched as the light drained from his eyes. I watched as his body went limp and his hand fell from the glass. Do not tell me otherwise." He shouted.

He closed his eyes and began to lean forward but McCoy grabbed him, throwing himself backwards and taking Spock with him. They fell in a crumpled heap on the floor and groaned in pain.

"Dammit Spock you pointy eared son of a bitch, that could have been avoided!" Bones hissed. "That's enough of this damn argument, we're going back to Jim, now!" He growled and dragged Spock up. He marched him back to the hospital. He wasn't taking no for an answer. Luckily, Spock didn't protest again.

—

Spock entered the room again. Jim had tubes sticking out of him; mixing his blood with Khan's. His friends were still there, watching him warm up, praying that it would work. They all edged back as Spock walked closer.

Being careful with the equipment, he held Jim's limp body in his arms again and buried his face in his neck. He didn't care who was watching anymore. He didn't care that he looked weak. "Find your way back to me." He begged. It was illogical to assume Jim would hear him, but his logic was way out of the window at that point. His emotional barriers were in crumbles.

—

It had been hours since Jim died. One by one, their friends left. Bones sat on the floor against a wall; a whisky in hand. Spock approached him and slumped down next to him. There was a long comfortable silence before Spock spoke.

"You were correct regarding your assumptions on my feelings for Jim." He murmured.

"I know. I think at this point, everyone knows." Bones replied.

"I never got the chance to tell him." He mourned. Tears lined his eyes again.

"I know." Bones said more sympathetically, reaching out to squeeze the Vulcan's shoulder. "That's why you have to promise yourself you'll do it when he wakes up."

"I shall... How were you aware of his feelings for me?"

"He's my best friend and I'm his doctor. I know everything about him and he's nuts for you, it's simple. You mentioned before that he's had a lot of girls. I don't think he even remembers a single one of them. They're just a distraction from his stress or pain." Bones explained. He paused with a sad smile and took a drink before continuing. "You get under his skin easier than anyone, you make him a better person than anyone else can, you sway his mind, guide him and look after him more than anyone else. You make the best team and really, he doesn't smile for anyone quite the way he does for you."

Spock sighed and smiled.

McCoy turned to look at him. "You know, the last time I saw him alive, I'd never seen him so happy before. I honestly thought that you'd told him."

Spock flushed a deep shade of green and smiled again. Their moment together had made Jim that happy.

McCoy eyed him up. "Man, you're blushing like crazy. Something happened didn't it! You didn't do any of that freaky mind voodoo shit on him did you? Because I'll beat you if you did." He warned.

Spock chuckled. Actually chuckled. "Yes, something happened. However, I was not aware he did it out of love. More like Jim just being his promiscuous self."

The doctor gaped at him. "Did you two have _sex_? Were you out of your goddamn minds? When did you even find the time? Where did you go?"

Spock cleared his throat in nervousness. "It did not exactly take long. It was incredibly.. heated. We were in a hygiene storage compartment."

"Whoa whoa whoa.. You mean to say that you fucked my best friend in the damn cleaning closet? Dammit Spock.. I should whoop your ass." He scolded and ran his hands over his face.

"I do not think Jim would approve. Doctor, may we drop this now, or do we need to discuss the fine details?"

"Lord no. Drop it." He chuckled. He became lost in thought for a while then his face dropped. "Hey uh Spock? I just remembered, I found this in Jim's pocket." He murmured and handed Spock a small folded letter with his name on.

Spock's hands trembled, it was written in Jim's handwriting.

"What does it say?" He rasped.

Bones frowned. "I wouldn't read your letter Spock. Open it."

Spock took a deep breath and went to sit back at Jim's side. He opened the letter and held Jim's hand as he read it.

His voice trembled as he spoke. "I run away when things are good and never really understood, the way you laid your eyes on me, in ways that no one ever could.  
And so it seems I broke your heart, my ignorance has struck again, I failed to see it from the start and tore you open in the end.  
I'm sorry to my unknown lover, sorry that I can't believe, that anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me.  
Sorry to my unknown lover, sorry I could be so blind, didn't mean to leave you and all of the things that we had behind." A tear rolled from his eye. He wiped it and took a shaky breath before continuing. "I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you. I have been for the longest time. I'm so sorry I never made it more obvious... Someone will love you Spock. I'm sorry it isn't me."

He folded the letter back up and set it in his pocket. "Of course it is you, it has always been you." He murmured and kissed the back of Jim's hand. More stray tears fell. His heart was in shreds.

Bones got up and stood by the Vulcan. "Budge over." He growled. Spock sat on the edge of the chair. Bones squashed next to him and slung an arm over his shoulder. "He thought he was dying Spock. It's his way of saying he wanted you to move on and be happy. He must have written this after you two... you know... He knew the risks of the mission."

Spock nodded, he understood. Bones squeezed his shoulder then got up to leave. He was exhausted. "Get better Jim." He said to his best friend and ruffled his hair. "See you tomorrow Spock." He called over his shoulder.

Spock spent the night alternating between meditating and brushing his fingers through Jim's soft hair.

—

A painfully long two weeks went by. Spock only left the room to shower. He stayed watching Jim the rest of the time. McCoy always brought him food and whatever he needed. They'd spent most of their time sitting and chatting about Jim and past missions. McCoy often scolded Spock for not eating enough and claimed that Jim would be pissed at him if he let the man he loved waste away. The Vulcan always ended up doing as he was told.

One evening, McCoy was looking at the monitor when he gasped. "Spock! His brain waves are normalising. He's finally beginning to wake." He smiled. Spock gave a tiny smile in return. He was still cautious to the idea.

Bones began to withdraw all the equipment that had been keeping Jim alive. He looked like he was just peacefully sleeping.

—

An hour passed and Jim awoke with a panic, his breathing was rapid. Memories of his last moments flooded him. He glanced to his left not knowing where he was. He noticed he was in a tiny room with lots of medical equipment. The blinds were drawn and he could tell it was evening.

"Oh don't be so melodramatic, you were barely dead. It was the transfusion that took its toll. Two weeks you've been out." Bones chirped from his side and began running scanners over him.

Jim turned to face him. "Bones!.. Is Spock alright?.. Where's Khan?" He rasped. His mouth was so dry. McCoy helped him drink some water.

"Once we caught him, I synthesised a serum with his, uh, super-blood. Tell me, are you feeling homicidal? power-mad? despotic?"

"No more than usual." Jim murmured with a grin. "How'd you catch him?"

"I didn't." McCoy answered and stepped to the side. Jim's heart skipped a beat at the sight of Spock and how softly he was watching him. Bones hung an arm around the Vulcan's shoulder. "Spock went all super-Vulcan and beat the life out of Khan after you died. He almost killed him." He chuckled. He moved around to Jim's other side to carry on studying his vitals. "Your pointy-eared puppy hasn't left you since he came back to see you that day."

Jim gaped at him. He shakily pulled himself up to sit as Spock sat by his bed. He looked into the Vulcan's warm brown eyes. "Spock.. You—" He was cut short when Spock placed a hand behind his head and pulled him into a soft kiss. Jim's eyes slid shut and he tilted his head to deepen it, sliding his tongue into Spock's mouth. They both moaned as they explored each other.

"Dammit Jim, do you have to do this shit while I'm still in here?" Bones whined. Jim flipped him the finger. He laughed and left the room. "Don't worry, I'll lock it!" He called behind him.

Spock felt Jim grinning against his lips and pulled away. He stared into his love's beautiful ocean blue eyes. They were just as bright and perfect as before. "I'm in love with you Jim. I promised myself I would inform you as soon as you returned." He said breathlessly.

Jim regarded him with soft eyes. "Well Mister Spock, you sure wasted no time." He cooed, running his thumb down Spock's cheek. He couldn't stop the huge smile that appeared on his face. He reached out two fingers, asking for a Vulcan kiss. Spock was surprised at the gesture. He wasn't aware Jim knew that much about Vulcans. He linked them, both softly sighing into the feeling. Jim leaned forward, pressing his forehead on Spock's "My love." He hummed.

"My T'hy'la." Spock murmured back.

Jim pulled back and cocked his head. "T'hy'la? That sounds cute." He smiled.

"It means brother, friend, lover. I guess it could most closely relate to you as a soulmate." Spock replied with a light green blush.

Jim smiled then leaned in and kissed him as deeply as he could. He tugged at his love's shirt, inviting him onto the bed. Spock lay over him and moved to kiss and suck his neck, leaving small marks all over him. Jim gasped and moaned with every one. Spock one hand in Jim's hair, playing with the golden locks. His other hand was at Jim's hip; fingers digging sharply into the skin. "More." Jim groaned whenever Spock pulled slightly back. They kissed again, long and slow. Their tongues dancing together.

They broke apart, slightly panting and Jim looked up at Spock, his eyes shining with want... _need_. "Bond with me." He whispered.

Spock's breath hitched. He delicately kissed Jim all over, as he gently removed his hospital gown. He prepared himself and his love before pushing slowly into him. Jim gasped and moaned at the feeling. He stared deeply into Spock's eyes, drowning in the pleasure and love he felt for the vulcan. He couldn't get enough of how Spock gazed at him.

Time passed and soft moans of pleasure sounded throughout the room as they made love.

"I love you." Jim rasped.

"I love you too." Spock murmured. He could tell Jim was almost done and he didn't have much longer himself. He chose that moment to meld with his lover and used his other hand to play with him.

An intense pleasure took over and Jim threw his head back in ecstasy. He dragged his nails down Spock's back as his body arched at the feeling. "Oh Spock, I'm gonna cum." He moaned. He cried out arching his back again and his body trembled as the waves of pleasure took him over. The meld made his orgasm much more powerful.

"Jim!" Spock cried and tightly grabbed his lover's hair as he finished inside him. He could feel Jim's overwhelming pleasure course through him. He loved every second; Jim's mind really was as bright and beautiful as he expected. It was intoxicating; he couldn't get enough.

Spock cleaned the mess then collapsed next to his lover. They lay in each other's arms, enjoying the high that radiated between them through their new bond. Jim danced his fingers over Spock's chest and the Vulcan nuzzled into his hair.

"I love you." Jim murmured again.

"I love you also." Came Spock's breathless reply.

"It's amazing. I can actually feel you. We're one." Jim cooed.

"It is surreal."

"Did you really try to kill Khan?" Jim asked quietly.

"Yes. I wanted to make him pay."

Jim smiled. "Always protecting me." He murmured and kissed Spock's head. "I wish I could have seen it." He chuckled.

Spock pulled back to look at him. "You can. Chekov downloaded the security footage. That is how the doctor knows what happened. Everybody knows what happened."

"No way! Chekov you little legend." Jim laughed. He watched as Spock's eyes began to drop. "When was the last time you slept?" He worriedly asked, running his thumb down Spock's cheek. He'd only just noticed how exhausted his Vulcan looked.

"On your couch. I do not require as much sleep as you."

"Spock, you still need sleep, you look exhausted. I bet you haven't even meditated enough." Jim lightly scolded.

"I have indeed struggled. I am ready to sleep now that I know you are safe." He murmured.

Jim kissed him then snuggled back into his chest. They both fell asleep. The next morning McCoy walked in and smiled at the sight. They looked so peaceful and content. It made his heart soar. He did his observations quietly and made his way back out.

—

Jim entered the turbolift, his fingers intertwined with Spock's. "I can't believe we finally got the Enterprise back and I can't believe we actually got the five year mission!" He beamed.

"It is an exciting prospect." Spock agreed.

They entered the bridge and were immediately swamped in a group hug by their friends. "Welcome back Captain! First officer Spock!" They cooed.

Jim laughed and hugged them all back. Bones walked over and grabbed him in a crushing hug then kissed his forehead. "We've missed you kid and the hobgoblin too." He chuckled. Spock sassily quirked an eyebrow and moved to his station.

Jim swatted Bones and approached his seat. He dropped down and smiled at the scene around him. It felt so good to be home. He turned and winked at Spock. He could feel the Vulcan smiling back in his mind.

"Stations everyone." He called. "Mister Sulu take us out... Punch it." He grinned.

—


End file.
